Happy New Year! - No Worries

i have only one New Year's goal this year. (actaully, i have several requests before god for the new year. but, i think this one goal will help me go through the year however/whenever god answers those requests.) my goal is to not worry. just trust. with joy. that's it. i dont think im excited about the new year. it's really just the next day. but im not dreading the new year either. i have no feelings towards it right now. i'll just have to see how things progress as i go through it. 2007 was difficult. i still haven't figured it all out. so, maybe that's why my attitude is such for 2008. whatever, i guess i cant figure it out. no worries, remember? have a happy new year!

Here's something I read from my "Girlfriends in God" devotional by Mary Southerland:

Worry is a control issue.
Worry is wasted energy.
Worry is consuming and unhealthy.
Worry is a joy thief.
Worry is the interest that we pay today on tomorrow's problems.
Worry is practicing atheism.
Worry makes everything seem bigger than it really is!

"Walking in Faith" - Book Plug

i dont usually read a lot of self-help christian books. but, lately i've been looking for more devotionals to pair with my personal daily bible reading. about a year ago i stumbled onto a daily devotional from crosswalk.com. the devotionals are called "encouragement for today" and "girlfriends in god" anyhoo, "encouragement for today" is hosted by the Proverbs 31 Ministry group. it's written specifically for women. they also sell books. i've bought two so far and have throughly enjoyed them. currently im reading the one below and it has been very good. i also have the devotional which is just a collection of their best devotionals. here's the one i'm currently reading.

Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving. In doing my morning email/website rounds I cam across a lot of good posts on Thanksgiving and particularly on thanking God. I thought I'd direct you to them.

I get these devotionals every morning and one encouraged you that the more you thank God for the little things the more your faith grows. Here's an excerpt:

Learning to be thankful -- even when we cannot see, hear or understand what He is doing or how He is working - is authentic thanksgiving and the direct result of a living, active and personal faith in God. We often say that we need more faith in order to be more thankful. I don't think so! We operate in faith every single day. We flip a switch believing in faith that light will appear. We turn a key believing in faith that a car will start. We even go to a doctor we hardly know who scribbles an impossible to read prescription which we promptly take to a pharmacist we have never seen. This unknown druggist proceeds to fill the prescription, giving us a medicine we cannot pronounce. And we take it -- all in blind faith! Amazing!



I believe that instead of pleading for more faith, we need to exercise the faith we already possess. As we continually step out in faith, not only will that faith grow stronger, but we will begin to trust God more, naturally developing an attitude of thanks. Faith does not believe that God can or will act. Faith believes that God is answering as we pray. And that truth, my friend, will send us to our knees in praise and thanksgiving.

Then I came over and read pretty much the same thoughts on this sister's website. So good. Pray that I learn to give more thanks. Particularly, when it seems things are not going well. Happy Thanksgiving!

3rd Sunday

today was 3rd sunday which means young people's service. we basically carry the whole day (morning and evening services). it was really good. in sunday school we were talking about heresy. liz brought out a good point that we as saints have to be careful of falling into heresy when we express ourselves. be careful of always having a negative thought or not agreeing with things that are said and done. you're opening yourself to moving farther from the standard and word. i'd never thought of it like that. but i was immediately like, lord help me. im one that doesn't mind expressing myself. but i know that sometimes you have to just say, "it doesnt matter what i think!" so, yeah. then we got to talking about different sects and their take on food. which made me realize that i need to start eating better. i'll probably never become a full-fledged vegetarian. but i would like to start having a more vegetarian lifestyle. ;) i dont know if that makes sense. i made it up while sitting here. but yeah, i need to take better care of myself .

ok, so the rest of the day was great. tiring, but good. the yp2 (young people's choir) sang for both services and God really blessed. the exhortations were both a blessing too.

im so excited about thanksgiving. im heading back home, of course! im taking the train which i've never done. we'll see how that goes. i hope i like it. most people have told me its pretty good. i didnt want to buy a plane ticket this year since i'll be headed back so soon for christmas. plus, it's just expensive for thanksgiving. and i definitely didnt want to drive. so, the train it is. it's about the same amount of hours. ok, im tired. ttyl!

oh, and i finally got a digital camera. so, hopefully you'll see some more pics here soon. :)

God Has Smiled on Me!

It's just the music...I love this song. He's been good to me!

and a picture...

so, with all of these "thoughts" i figured a good picture would be nice to lighten the mood. this was at lana's going away gathering. some of us gals and a few of lana's friends.

musings....

so, after reading and RE-reading and praying..i couldnt shake that article "a new perspective" out of my mind. Last night we had our sister's monthly gathering. it was SOOOO good. it basically ended up with us younger sisters talking candidly and asking questions to the older sisters about how to go through various tests and struggles. sis. hodges, sis. mildred, and sis. ella just really blessed us with their words of wisdom. well, one of the questions was about letting go of things so that god could work. sis. hodges stated that sometimes we tie god's hands b/c we hold on to things and he wants us to let go so that he can work. we can really hold god to his promises when we let go of somethings. stop trying to work it out, figure it out, gettting the wrong attitude towards it. she mentioned the scripture jeremiah 5:25 and how sometimes she'd have a surprise for her children but b/c of their attitude she'd withhold it from them. and that's how god works as well. anyway, it was such a blessing. so, tonight i was once again RE-reading the article "a new perspective" and thinking about letting go of one particularly desire that i've had for a long time. but in a way i feel if i let it go im saying i dont want it anymore. even last night sis. hodges talked about we have to let some things go that seem so dear to us. so much a part of us. in order for god to work.i dunno... i feel like that's what i need to do. let it go, and wait on God. it just seems like such a big thing to let go of, b/c after all i do sooo much desire it. maybe god views it that it's not that she doesn't want it anymore, but she's willing to place it in my hand for me to work it out. instead of her trying to figure it out...struggling with it...wrestling with it. maybe that's the "letting go" he requires???


in other news, today was a very nice, beautiful, fall day. and sunday school was such a blessing. i co-teach the teen girls class with another sister. earlier in the year we were struggling with being a blessing to our girls. every few years i guess you get a new group and have to "learn" them. i have to admit i felt like giving up more than once. even went to pastor about it. but god has totally blessed. and it's not just them. but he's blessed me to truly learn them. our classes the last few sundays have been awesome. has anyone gotten saved? not yet. are we unearthing deep bible mysteries. nope. but i think the girls enjoy coming more so. i feel them listening more so. there's even an excitement in the air of just being together. it's just been a blessing. continue to pray for our class. thanks to the henderson gals for baking and bringing cookies for us this morning! they were soooo good. :)

continue to pray for me. god has really blessed me spiritually these last few weeks. i do feel like a new person. the devil is still the devil and the old me doesnt want to completely die. but i do see a change in my thoughts. things that would usually bother me have not been an issue. im so thankful for that. i feel like i've gotten the victory. now, i must maintain it. drive it in, so that it sticks. as p.jones has stated completely "cut off the head." this blog has really helped...i like to write. and sometimes my "figuring things out" or talking to Him comes through the form of just writing until i find the answer. luv!

YLCF Article - "A New Perspective"

i just read an awesome devotional from one of my favorite blogs. it's the "Young Ladies Christian Fellowship" blog. Anyway one of the articles was such a blessing. Isn't it amazing how God starts showing us things personally, and then later on uses people, His word, and other testimonies just to confirm or reaffirm what he's said? The particular devotional is called "A New Perspective". (The link is at the bottom.)I truly invite you to take a look at it and the whole site. My thoughts from the article:

God IS going to bless. Even if in HIS time. so, why become agitated with it all. He IS going to bless.


NOTE: You have to scroll up to view the full article.
Young Ladies Christian Fellowship: A New Perspective

But, Rejoice....Part 4

so, i am still on my "journey" to spiritual victory. this weekend, the devil really attacked. when i woke up this morning it was like i was battling those same feelings of anxiety, fear, and just mind battles from the devil. the biggest thing was that i was upset with myself for seeimingly having returned to those things that i want the victory in so bad. i want to be able to stay happy and free. i want to be able to cast off thoughts from the devil without thinking about it. to rejoice evermore. but it seems like, i keep letting situations get me down and out. and then EVERYTHING else comes back too. anyway, i fought it out. i had an extra long devotion before coming to church. i was just like i WANT to enjoy the services today. i WANT to arrive at church with a heart and mind of praise and joy.

once again, the message today really hit home. we just started our revival with p.lloyd and his message today was on "rending your hearts". taking my ugly, decietful heart that gets me off all the time, humbling myself and taking on the heart of God. i was talking to some of the sisters after church and it was like i took his message to mean, (ONCE AGAIN) letting go of all those things I THOUGHT were important to hang onto. all of my worries, all of my "justified" hurts, all of my anxieties, and replacing them with "how does God want me to feel about this?". and then making myself feel that way. that's the hard part. b/c right now it feels unnatural. to make yourself rejoice. b/c i know/we know exactly how God wants us to handle it. but that route sometimes isn't the easiest or most logical. that route goes against everything we humans think "make sense." but i have to. my victory is in that. i really feel like even if every morning i have to go through an hour devotion to renew my mind; one day it's going to come natural to me to just think that way. that's my victory. one week, i'll think like that all week. one month i'll think like that all month. THAT'S my victory. and it's not saying that that day, week, month, i wont have any problems, but God will have taught me how to handle them His way. how to rejoice in them His way. Cast my cares upon him, and leave them there. Really and truly know God in the way he wants me to: He takes care of my troubles I don't have too. He knows what is best, I can just rest completely in him.

it's amazing. the last few weeks/couple of months have been soul searching. initially it was because i wanted a natural blessing. but God has let me know that for right now my blessing/victory is all spiritual. through it all He's been teaching me step by step how to conquer this thing once and for all. i've tried so many times before, but when the next test came i'd realized i was still holding on to me. still not taking the attitude i needed. so far,God's shown me to 1) take no thought for my life, 2) seek him (through an intense devotion/alone time/fasting), 3) in seeking him, humble myself, and now 4) rend your heart in this area.


please pray for me. my hope is to be able to record what i'm going through so that i can look back and see the steps to victory. i just want this settled once and for all. one day the title will read..But, Rejoice..VICTORY.

But, Rejoice...Part 3

so, the euphoria of Sunday has worn off. what? you say. you're not holding to what you said earlier. oh, i am. i still believe that God is working on me. and i thank god that he's shown me those areas i need help in. and by the grace of god i mean (and am) measuring up in them. but with all revelations that come from god there are spirits who want to oppose my growing deeper in the things of God. things that want to hold on to my feelings and my hurts. b/c we all agree that our hurts and feelings feel valid. on my way to work, i was grappling with this. i've been reading the book "bible humility" by j.w. byers. and in reading it, it reaffirmed so much of sundays service. i quote, "but, what is to be made low and trampled upon and placed under the mighty hand of God is our individual soul, life, including body and all (and i add, feelings)." but, then to humble oneself and still try to hang onto oneself. it doesn't work. one or the other has to go. and so on my drive in, i grappled with which one. do i let these things linger on, or do i just submit them and do what i need to do for MY soul? i came to the conclusion that i just have to STOP. stop thinking, stop trying to figure it out, or reason it out. stop trying to justify. and just do what i have to do. no one else. do your part. then, i got to work and this devotional was waiting for me (i've only included a portion of it). i think it answered my question. It's taken from Crosswalk.com's "Girlfriends in God" and written by Mary Southerland.


Look for God in circumstances.

God is constantly at work in our lives preparing us to do what He created us to do. A.B. Simpson says: "God is preparing His heroes. And when the opportunity comes, He can fit them into their place in a moment. And the world will wonder where they came from." When we understand that God integrates every circumstance to accomplish His will, it is easy to trust Him. Even when we do not understand, even when we can't explain it, even when it doesn't make sense or seems wrong, we can choose to trust Him. It is easy to trust Him when the seas are calm and the skies are clear! But the strength of our faith is measured in the midst of a storm!

A crisis always reveals what is really inside! Letting go means that we trust God enough to obey Him. Trust is demonstrated by obedience. What I do reveals what I believe about God, regardless of what I say! God will not waste direction on a disobedient heart. The more we obey the more we will trust. The more we trust, the more we will obey. God reveals His plans to an obedient heart. When we trust God enough to let go, we will find that He is Lord of our circumstances.

2. Look for God in people.

Proverbs 27: 17 "As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other". In this verse, "each other" literally means: companion or friend; neighbor or associate. In other words, God uses every relationship to improve us and to accomplish His will for our lives. People come into our lives for eternal reasons. Relationships are mirrors! In them, we see reflections of ourselves! Relationships expose the weaknesses we try so hard to bury! Relationships teach us important lessons like forgiveness, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. Many times, God builds His qualities in us by allowing certain people to come into our lives. He calls it "Iron sharpening iron".

If we need to learn patience, He brings irritating people into our lives. If we need to learn to love, He will bring the unlovable! God takes those people we call "difficult" and uses them as pruning tools, tools of molding and refining. If we fail to learn from one, He will send another! Even if we do learn from one, He will send another to teach us a different lesson.

Relationships are compasses. Proverbs 15:22 "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." (NIV) God brings all kinds of people into our lives to teach us, encourage us and guide us.

And then later on in the devotional it states,

Strength that comes through pain can be gained no other way. His presence always changes everything.


1 Kings 18:37 "LORD, answer my prayer so these people will know that you, LORD, are God and that you will change their minds." (NCV)

What we call "dis-appointment" is really "His appointment". While God uses our mistakes as a test, He does not waste a single experience. There are no "scraps" of life to be thrown away!

continue to pray for me. i want to continue to rejoice with where i am right now. i think the main part of it is completely trusting God and letting him use everything around me to mold me into what he wants me to be

But, Rejoice....Part 2

so, nothing with the car yet. but i can rejoice still. b/c i havent really been thinking about it. which for me is such an improvement. normally, i would be worrying and getting discouraged. but im like right now i cant do anything about it and one of the benefits of knowing God is that when we have everyday trials we can just turn it over to him. so, truly that's what im practicing.

service this morning was amazing. i won't go into detail. but, i will say that it's good to be in the COG. and it's good to know that God is faithful that when we think we need a natural blessing what we really need is to learn what he wants us to get out of the test. god has been showing me so much of me these past few weeks. i've been so wrapped up in hurts and disappointments that i couldn't really experience him the way he wanted. (experience in truly being able to give him my burdens, have faith in him, and love life.) it's like i saw what he wanted me to do and the growth he desired, but of my own strength couldn't get there. and today in being able to talk to different ones and let go of the past, see my own faults in dealing with people. see how my own actions may have been the root of the pain i felt other's were causing, i can see God's hand in all of this. so it wasn't really them, it wasnt my situation, it wasnt God denying me of my requests, but he showed how my own actions had caused my own grief. it was amazing. i know chastening isn't pleasant, but it is when you finally "get it". when you finally realize that if i just do this one thing, other things will fall into place. im looking for god to continue to bless me spirtually. my desire is to be a totally different individual in God. i'm rejoicing. not b/c i got anything naturally speaking. but, i feel like spiritually im getting to the place God wants me to be. where he's probably been trying to push and prod me to for the past several years. but i just wasn't getting it. pray for me. im still striving for the goal. and then after all of today at church, after all of the self-examination; i came home, opened my bible and fell on these words from God:

"Finally be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise BLESSING: knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: let him eschew evil, and do good: let him seek peace, and ensue it." ~1 Peter 3:8-11

now, to me that just seals the whole day.

But, Rejoice....

yesterday p.hodges preached a great message called, "but, rejoice". basically it was saying how we should praise god in the situation. that's how we're going to get out of it. i noticed another sister already commented on her blog on the message...but i just wanted to say what it meant to me. i must say that i have trouble rejoicing for the things that dont seem to be as they should. i mean i can thank him that things aren't worse, or thank him for things that i DO have. but it's a hard to practice thanking him for those things that hurt or seem to say that life's getting worse at every turn. i dunno if i've figured it out yet. but i do want too. so, im praying that he teaches me. now, we all know that if we ask God for more of anything that usually means he's going to take us through something to teach us. well this morning God, seemed to put me to the test. you know the Maintenance light in your car? well, it doesnt really mean anything except to say that it's time for your routine maintenance. things you do to keep your car running so that you dont have to have MAJOR work done later on. well, sometimes those "routine maintenance's" can be quite expensive. and i have a feeling this one is going to be. now, i dont have a problem getting it done, it just seems that every time i get a bonus or every time i get my savings back to the figure i like..something with my car comes along. (and my car is fairly "new" still. it's a 6 year old Honda..so, it's good.) to say the least, i was a bit distraught on my way to work. however, i was determined not to cry or complain or murmur (although the devil did present himself). or start thinking about all of my other problems and how things seemed to be getting worse. and since yesterday's message was still clearly ringing in my head, i was like, "okay." God, you take care of this some how someway. i know i have to go. i know i have to pay. but you take care of the finances part, so that i don't feel like im always making the car dealers richer. just take care of the situation. i can't shelve out another big figure right now. well, that was this morning. and i was able to not think about it for the rest of the day. even as i type this im not as distraught as i was this morning. i dont know what's going to happen. i know i need God to "smile" on me, though. and im hoping that if i do my part (take no thought for today) he'll bless this situation. and not only this one, but the other ones as well. especially that BIG one most of us are still praying and hoping for. pray for me. :)

Happy 1/2 Birthday to ME!

Yes, i am celebrating my half-birthday this year(it was actually yesterday sept. 14th). it's halfway to my birthday. today some of the gals and i are going out to breakfast. i'm excited. i must admit i didnt feel that "tingly" feeling like you do on your real birthday. oh well!

one more thing on the jubilee....

i forgot to say that while i was in Arkansas..i got a chance to really get to know some of the girls. girls i've known forever, but this time we just got to talk and really express ourselves. so, to rebecca and christina...it was great, just awesome spending time with yall. and of course the mack and sharon gals are always a pleasure. :) not that other weren't but i just really enjoyed taking it slow this weekend and feeling the love of the saints. ok, that's it. :)

"This is the day of Jubilee!!"

I just got back from the AR jubilee. it was awesome. there wasnt as many people, but there was still good representation from all of the COGs. i cannot begin to explain how good it was. i mean...every meeting people say that. but it was something about this meeting that was just "umph". you know? the messages were truly on a more mature level. as were the testimonies. i did buy some of the tapes. and im sure your local tape ministry will either have the tapes or can request them. on the last night we all gathered at kevin and sharonda's house (which is quickly becoming "da spot"!...do they know that?) for games. ok, so if you remember playing the question game at lana's house..imagine that with about 25-30 people PLUS the sharon saints (who are hilarious by themselves) PLUS bro. neal and bro. tierre. CRAZY! and then we played not one but two rounds. TWO rounds of the question game. it was a long night. i think we left there about 3am ish. oh well, it was definitely worth it.

in other news, school has started. actually it started last week. im enjoying it. im teaching 3rd this year instead of 2nd. i requested to be moved (not b/c of the kids, though.) i must say it's been a nice change. i luv my partner teachers. they're quick and smart (those of yall who know me, will understand that comment.) so, im satisfied.

we are a blessed people, as pastor jones preached on. truly. :)

Red Sea

it seems like a lot of my posts are turning into poems/songs. well, here's yet another one. i get daily devotionals emailed to me everyday. this song was in my devotional for today. (if you're interested, you can go to www.crosswalk.com and look for the devotional "Encouragement from Today"..i've yet to NOT be blessed by these devotionals.)

Red Sea

Lyrics and Music by Gwen Smith



A battle is raging, the stage is set

Rivers edge, they're placing bets

Facing the water, I'm fighting doubt

I need Your hand to help me out



Part this Red Sea , deliver me

The tide is high, still on the rise

Secure my feet and guide my steps

I won't retreat from this duress

I'm movin', I'm pushin', I'm constantly pressin'

Approaching these waters with holy aggression

Show me Your power, I need intervention

Come and rescue me

Part this Red Sea



Minute by minute new circumstances

Uncharted water, taking my chances

I'm trying to get up the nerve to move

With You on my side, I know I can't lose



Pillar of fire by night on this desert road

Pillar of cloud by day with my heavy load

Its big, its big, I hear it mocking me

But You are bigger and You can part this sea

Pathways....

I just ran across this great poem from the YCLF website (it's listed under my "Links" page). Anyhoo, I thought I'd post it. It's very encouragin. Thanks to the author!


I know not the path I must travel,
I see not a way for my feet.
Ahead I only see shadows
Obscured is the pathway I seek.

I do not know all life's answers,
And where I travel seems rocky and steep
Still I am striving to follow,
And find the pathway I seek.

I do not know why there are shadows,
Yet of one thing I can be sure,
Jesus has travel'd there before me
And He knows the path is secure.

I do not know where He will lead me,
Only that with Him I will always be safe.
He has promised never to leave me,
And His promise He'll never forsake.

Each day I learn more to trust Him,
More fully in all that befalls.
His will for me becomes my will,
And I will follow were ever He calls.

In every trial and testing,
That shows me that I am so weak,
He gives me more grace to follow
For in Him is the pathway I seek.



- Chantel Harding

Vacation

so, recently my family and i went to texas for vacation. Here are a few pictures. Enjoy!

jason and i waiting on our boat cruise.


waiting on our tour of the capital, which was quite nice!


Granny & I


All of us on the riverwalk. (I look a mess!)

overwhelmed, to say the least!

ok, july is going by way to fast. i went in to work last week, just to check out my new room. oh my, oh my! so much to do so little time. of course i was there all of 5 minutes before my principal got me started on a huge project for the whole school. so, for the past few days i've been going in and working on that for a few hours. while, my class sits in shambles. see the problem is i get there around 10ish and work hard on this project for a few hours. always with the hope that i'll work on my class for a few hours afterwards. well, by 1ish i'm usually exhausted mentally and physically. so i usually leave and nothing is getting accomplished. (sigh). oh well, i'll try again tomorrow.

nothing else going on....i have two potential names to start piano lessons (thank you, paul..who'll never read this). yeah, im on that kick again. but this time it really looks promising. so, pray for me. i've really been disgusted and frustrated w/ my playing lately. this past sunday it was just really hard to get into the music. i've found that when i play that's how i worship him, since i dont get to spend as much time just standing and singing the words. so, i really want to do my best...its so frustrating. i feel like i'm "half-stepping" in everything i do. why cant i be totally awesome at one thing???? oh well. ok, seriously nothing else is going on. until the next update..smooches!!! ;)