just me...

I am learning to guard my thoughts....

2009-02-11T17:13:00.002-06:00

Wow. the last few weeks have been a whirlwind..who knew getting to know another person, planning a wedding, working, and maintaining my spiritual life would be so exhausting. I wouldn't trade my life right now for anything, but it's brought on new challenges i never expected.

my job has particularly been exhausting. with so much banking on the state achievement tests in march, everyday is another go, go, go, produce, produce, produce, day. the stress level there has increase triplefold. along with just dealing with different people on the job.

yet, with all this God's been teaching me how to guard my thoughts so that normal stresses of life don't make me have anxious, negative, or grumpy thoughts. with everyone pulling on me from all directions, getting that quiet time to commune with God is such a fight and press.

so, what has he taught me? just a few things...

1) My prayer and devotion time before I go to work are a must. Most teacher's know that our days start extremely early. My school's about 30 minutes away...so even though I'd love that extra 15-20 minutes, I know that taking that time to talk to God will help me throughout the day.

2) Don't dwell on it. People do and say some crazy things. There are some "sandpaper" people out there who'll always try and rub you the wrong way. Don't think about their actions/words to long. That's what makes it worse. Cast it to the wind. "Agree with thine adversary quickly." God's even been showing me that at times it's not even necesssary to defend yourself. "Suffer wrongfully..." A lot of times the wrongs done to us aren't imagined but clear and easy to see. Others may see it too. But, it's having the grace to smile anyway and cast it off. Don't let it bother you. I'm going to love you anyway.

3) God will give you the grace and knowledge that you need to fight the battle. I LOVE this scripture: "He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms." Psalms 18:34. He teaches me a)how to handle myself to work out the natural situation and b) how to handle myself to get the spiritual victory."

4) It's just the enemy. "Don't be ignorant of Satan's devices." The devil's using all he's got to try and hinder the saints. Sometimes, it takes just breathing and saying it's not really the person, the situation, or circumstance. THIS is just the Enemy. Rebuke him. and keep stepping!

5) Enjoy the moment! When it's all said and done...I am too blessed right now. I may never have an opportunity to relive this time again. I mean to enjoy every minute. Sometimes that means throwing it all out the back door and concentrating on who's important to me right now. learning to love him to the fullest and thanking god for every minute of it. :)

luv!

O Holy Night

2008-12-22T09:46:00.001-06:00

Saturday, the YP2 choir and youth group went caroling at a hospital down the street from the church. It was awesome to say the least. We try to go caroling every year. But, this was our first time at this hospital. The patients and staff were all very complimentary. We basically walked through the halls singing and paused every once in a while to hand out flower bouquets the young people had made. Here are a few pics of us posing as a group. I was a little uncomfortable taking pics while were singing to the patients.

Some of us were talking about one song we sang, "O Holy Night." It is by far one of my favorite carols. However, I'd never heard the second verse of the song. Talk about powerful! Honestly the carols, could be sung all year long. Anyway, take a look at the second verse. Merry Christmas!

O Holy Night:

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

I've become one of those.....

2008-12-09T18:01:00.002-06:00

yup! i must confess after years of never understanding why people do it. i've become one of those people who....wash the dishes before they put them into the dishwasher. the horror, i know. the extra effort...oh, yes. why, lj? i dont know!!!!! but the dishes just get so much cleaner. you have to try it to understand. i just wash and put in the dishwasher. (so, i skip rinsing off the soap prior to the dishwasher step.) it's truly amazing. i think everyone should try it. :) ok, i have to admit maybe im just doing it b/c my dishwasher's not so great. we'll see. :)

Loving When it Hurts, Part 2

2008-12-08T18:45:00.003-06:00

"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds. Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." ~2 Corinthians 10:4-6

The hardest part, I believe, is when you clearly see the blatant injustice being done to you. You see the individual(s) that no longer speak or turn your way. How you're conveniently left out...and your first inclination is to call them out...make it known "I see what you're doing. Why? What did I do to you? I'm sorry." But, (as my pastor stated)you realize that what Christ really wants you to do in this test is what he did so many times so long ago "openeth not his mouth." Because this test is for the glory of God. It's not about you, LJ.

I was praying today after I got home. Different things had happened at work and over the weekend. And God just spoke to me with the above scripture.

"weapons are not carnal" - don't fight the person. fight the devil that's attacking YOUR soul. love the individual.

"casting down imaginations" - don't think about it or ponder it.

"bringing into captivitiy" - make your mind, heart, and body act right. make your mind, heart, and body love inspite of.

"into the obedience of Christ" - obey God in every thing he tells you to do in the situation and to the individuals.

"readiness to revenge all disobedience" - my flesh will not like it. but, im ready to fight against ME.

"when your obedience is fulfilled" - the more fight you have to win this thing, the hotter it may become.

God tremendously blessed today at work. I didn't have this scripture. But, I remembered what a sister said during wed. night bible class. Sometimes you have to wake up "looking for your opportunity to die in a situation." When i got to school it seemed all types of things were going on. Yet, realizing that this was my opportunity to die. This was my opportunity to show love and Christ. Was it a fight? Oh, yes. At times, I felt like i was losing. By the end of the day, the very ones who'd caused the grief were at my feet. I know that was nothing but God. This other situation seems to be dragging out longer, but I'm encouraged that you cannot fight love. You just can't.

Pray for me. I'm encouraged. Thanks for listening and praying. Writing is theraputic (sp?) for me...Anyhoo, God has been blessing me in many ways. Inspite of this test, i thank God i'm saved. I'm loving life to the fullest. Definitely, a lot busier in this "new season" i'm in. But, it's a good busy. a VERY happy busy. :)

Loving when it Hurts

2008-12-06T08:10:00.004-06:00

It seems like everywhere I go these past few months, God's been dealing w/ me about showing more love. To the ones who I (my own human nature) just don't want to. Why is it so hard to show love to them? Doesn't the scripture command it? I'm saved, right. Why is it such a fight? Because I want to protect and DEFEND myself. It would be interesting to know what other's have done to truly get victory in loving those who mistreat you. What's the secret? I know it lies in God and loving him. But, do you lose the desire to protect and defend yourself? That's what needs to go for me. Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying I have hate in my heart. I just want the struggle to love to disappear. I want it to be a natural instinct to love when others hurt me or those around me. One sister always says, "look beyond their faults and see [that person's]needs."

A few scriptures I'm meditating on:

Ephesians 5:2 "And walk in love as Christ hath loved us..."

I Thessalonians 4:9-12 "But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. And indeed ye do it toward all the bretheren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more; And that you study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing."

This is a good devotional from the "Girlfriends in God" Ministry. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

"Mom, they were whispering to one another about the birthday party. They didn't want me to hear because I am not invited," my daughter said with trembling voice as tears filled her big beautiful eyes.

My heart was breaking in half as I listened to how hurt she was. "They are my best friends at school, Mom. Why would they not invite me?"

I reached out to hug her, our arms wrapping around each other tightly as she turned her soft tear stained face toward my neck. It was a familiar crying spot as she had buried her face there time and time again in the same position since she was a baby. We helped each other without speaking a word for a while. Sometimes there are just no words to make things better, so I cried with her. One week later, while driving our daughter to school, she asked her dad in a quiet voice if he would please stop at the grocery store.

"Why DaNae'? Do you need something for school?"

"Well, sort of."

"What do you need, honey, because we are already going to be late."

"I need to buy a balloon for someone who is having a birthday party tonight."

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Do you remember the girl who was whispering about her birthday party in front of me? Well, I want to take a balloon to school for her." I looked over at my husband and he looked at me, each of our hearts melting both with a sense of pride and of sadness. We knew we had to stop even if it meant we would be late. It was worth it!

Da-Nae' walked happily into the grocery store and in a few moments came running out with a huge grin spread across her seventh grade face. Her balloon was flying high in the air with a pack of chewing gum hanging from the bottom, acting as a weight. She was the happiest girl in the world!

My husband and I were so blessed by our daughter's actions that morning. She stooped to conquer feelings that could have been filled with anger and hurt. Some people might ask why she would make a fool of herself after being treated the way she was or how she could lower herself after what her friend had done to her. When Christ is the center of our lives, He empowers us to do things we could never do in our own human nature. Our daughter chose not to be a martyr. She chose to stoop a little so she could rise up on a much higher level. She chose to reject her sadness about not being invited to the party. She reaped the blessings of stooping to conquer her emotions and blessed her friend in spite of how she had been treated. When was the last time you stooped to conquer?

Psalm 131

2008-11-14T20:09:00.002-06:00

Excerpt from "Encouragement for Today" - November 14, 2008

Psalm 131 "Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor mine eyes lofty: neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things too high for me. Surely I have behaved myself, as a child tha tis weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child. Let Israel hope in the Lord from henceforth and for ever."

Determining the right time to wean depends on the child and the parent but when the time comes, weaning involves withholding from the child what he wants, but no longer needs. God often withholds things we want but do not need, in order to change our appetites. This is not meant to inflict anxiety or pain, but to mature us and prepare us for the next level in our walk with Him. Too often we want life to be easy and comfortable. We don't want to grow up and face responsibilities. But that would lead to stunted development. We forget that growth and maturity are almost always forged through some type of hard work or difficultly.

Other times, however, we do want to grow up -- WAY UP -- and we get in a hurry to do so. We're like the toddler who assumes she is can do everything herself. Psalm 131 speaks to this tendency in us as well. David says in the first verse that he keeps his soul from being too proud or overly ambitious. Basically, David is saying he has to make sure he doesn't get too big for the britches God has given him!

I'm Glad I'm Saved, Too.

2008-11-06T20:20:00.000-06:00

Previously posted on Facebook.

Last Sunday night our Pastor stood before our congregation and said the most powerful and moving words to summarize the end of this presidential campaign. I paraphrase, "After its all said and done we [the saints] have still got to be unified and continue to fight together the devil that is threatening our very souls.The way you vote does not determine your salvation. Neither of the candidates are saved." He didn't say these words before an audience of all black or all white. All poor or all rich. Not even all Democrats or all Republicans. He said it to the church.

The past few months have shown me sides of people that I never thought possible. (Some of whom I've loved and adopted as my own family.) I've ignored many of the comments, emails, posts, etc. I would love to erase many of the words and actions that I've experienced to keep my heart clear. But, we can't. However, I must strive to remember that we are brothers and sisters. Just like you can't take my salvation, I can't take yours. I can't judge your spiritual walk, nor you mine.

We do serve a loving God who commands that we love, respect, prefer, honour, submit, and forgive one another. Maybe our world views are highly different. Our backgrounds not the same. Maybe you don't understand my thoughts or what drives my actions. But, there is a way we can agree to disagree in the spirit of holiness. That's something we can never lose. There is a way that we can agree to disagree without condemning our brother's or sister's intellect. That's something we can never lose. I want to challenge everyone on both sides to think about our words, our actions, our status messages, and see if it's promoting the peace of God. If I have said anything to cause conflict, I apologize. Do I have the right to vote, post, and think the way I want. Yes. Does God hold me accountable? Yes. Do I want to make heaven my home? Yes. Then rest assured all of my actions will be in looking to God the author and finisher of my faith. But, if my hidden motives are to wound or cast negative judgement. If my hidden motives are to question another's walk, may I stand in fear of the wrath of God.

We cannot insinuate that the way one voted determines their salvation. We'd make ourselves God. I do not wish to go into a political argument. This note is only to express the deep hurt and shock at the words that have been said to me and others. I do not say this alone. "I pray for you. You pray for me. We're all apart of God's body." If you don't believe that, maybe it's time for some real truths to be made.

God Bless The Church of God.

We Have and always will be the United States of America

2008-11-05T11:13:00.001-06:00

i was there.

CNN: "Obama: This is Our Moment"

You Can Vote However YOU Like...!!!!

2008-11-01T09:33:00.001-05:00

As election day draws near, you can vote however YOU like! No need to criticize each other, take one another's salvation, or claim that anyone's actions are guided by race. You can vote however YOU like. The beauty of living in America. Stop the madness. Let's treat each other with kindness and the utmost respect. Luv!!!!

The Flight of the Bumblebee

2008-10-30T18:01:00.006-05:00

some of you know how much i like classical music. i actually got this from kristen t's facebook profile. awesome!

All I Wanna do is Bless Your Name!

2008-10-29T18:18:00.004-05:00

I was praying and this song came to me. The YP2 sings it as well...

All I want to do is
bless your name,
bless your name.
For all you've done.
All I want to do
is give you praise
Give you praise, all day.
And bless your holy name.

All I Wanna Do Is Bless Your Name - Apostle Donald Alford

love it.

2008-10-23T17:46:00.004-05:00

May God bless him and his family.

fall

2008-10-07T16:27:00.003-05:00

so, fall and spring have always been my favorite seasons...(although, my allergies don't enjoy them). cnn.com did an ireport of fall pics. apparently, you can upload some of your favorite pics of fall. very nice! enjoy.

i hate that pumpkins are so closely associated with halloween just b/c they are so symbolic of fall. i luv the smell of a fresh one that's been cut open. now, im not a fan of pumpkin pie (we like sweet potato pie in my family). but i do love anything with pumpkin spice and i also enjoy roasted pumpkin seeds.

Happy Fall!

just a nod, for now.

2008-10-03T18:15:00.002-05:00

"The conclusions of those surveyed in the CNN poll cannot be welcome news for the McCain-Palin campaign, but Republicans have to be happy with Palin's performance, which was gaffe-free even as it was short on substance. "

Analysis: Palin Gets Back on Track, but Biden Wins the Debate

wow.

2008-10-01T16:40:00.004-05:00

i wasn't going to post this, but its such madness that i have too. one word for this interview: WOW. that's our potential, next Commander in Chief.

the thing is you can't really blame anyone for your own bad interview. you can pretty much only blame....your camp. grant it, this is just the SNL spoof of it. but it's crazy at how closely the spoof mimics the actual interview to a tee (check it out on youtube). when did Canada become foreign policy? isn't there a more qualified republican woman (since we're playing on the "minority" card) out there somewhere? one may not be thrilled w/ the other candidate, but admit it. at least he can at least TALK us out of a tight bind. i dont think i ever heard a complete sentence from this one. do we realize she's only a step away from being Commander in Chief. forget being cute, and hooray we've got a woman. i almost think katie couric could do the job better. so, political views aside, do we all agree, this was pretty bad? one positive, cute jacket, love the glasses. not going to save the world, but at least we look good, right?

Watch the spoof! (Check out the actual interview on Youtube.)

SNL Spoof of Palin/Couric Interview

too busy...

2008-08-30T10:40:00.004-05:00

no, i havent fallen off the face of the earth. i've just been extremely busy. there's a lot going on right now. school's started, which makes august/sept. crazy in and of itself. we have a new church and we're moving...so our extra time is getting ready for that. good things are going on. im happy and just luvin' life and the wonderful blessings of God. ok, i just wanted to check in. hopefully, i'll write a little more later.

congratulations to josh and tesia! (they'll probably never see this, but hopefully some of you can pass the word.) :)

new link added

2008-07-22T16:02:00.004-05:00

check out trese's new blog and send her words of encouragement! (under my links, "mah BFF (trese)"). im soooo happy she's saved. luv ya, babe! :)

Daddy Obama...

2008-07-03T09:03:00.001-05:00

Daddy Obama!

not much...

2008-06-28T18:16:00.006-05:00

Not much going on in my life. it's summertime in chicago. i have the whole week off before i start a class that i'm taking. im looking forward to just relaxing. "The Taste" started this weekend. So, i'll probably try to get there sometime this week. ok...so other than that absoulutely nothing. i feel like my life has become very uneventful. ugh. maybe i should try to find exciting things to talk about. hmmm, ok. today after YP2 rehearsal a few of us went to have breakfast (more like breakfast at lunch). good food, good times. rehearsal itself was OK. i secretly think our members luv each other so much that when it's time for rehearsal they are so excited about seeing each other, we forget that we're really here to sing. it's kind of funny. (well, for a little bit.) :) pray for jenny and i. you know how you have the burden for something but you're like, is everyone else feeling this the way i am??? hmm. i dunno. i think i always feel like that about everything, though. ok, well, keep me in your prayers. we'll see if anything exciting happens sometime soon. the possibilities are endless, right? :)

Not ashamed while waiting...

2008-06-10T18:00:00.005-05:00

"For they shall not be ashamed that wait for me.." ~Isaiah 49:23b

I used to think this verse meant you wouldn't be ashamed if you waited (past tense) on God because the blessing you receive in the future will make it so that you are not ashamed. In essence, "you won't be ashamed once you see what I've done."

But,

I've found that this scripture is actually present tense.

If he meant in the future based on what's been done in the past, he'd have written "for they were not ashamed that waited on me." after receiving, you're not ashamed.

His true meaning....

Those who are presently waiting (most likely having not received the promise) shall not (presently) be ashamed that wait (presently) for me.

Now that's deep. Not ashamed, embarrased, anxiety filled while waiting.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

so!

2008-05-18T19:40:00.005-05:00

so! it's been a really long time. i know. i have been crazy busy. moving...teaching a college night class, ending the school year, yadda yadda. i feel so far behind in the blog world. my fav. blogs have been neglected. most days, i only have time to check my email, cnn.com, and read my devotionals that are emailed to me. i guess i could write about everything that's happened....but, that may take a while. i'll just give the highlights.

-in seasons of busyness, only god can provide you with the best time management skills. getting up a little earlier (even if you're exhausted) can make a dramatic difference in the rest of the day).

- the devil loves to make us insecure about our abilities and capabilities (is there a difference between the two?)..anyhoo, if you refuse to give into those insecurities, somehow God glosses over them and makes those around you think you've really got it all together, when in actuality it's really just god doing what he does best: taking care of his saints. (that was a looonnnggg sentence!)

-the death of a saint is truly glorious in the sight of God and his people. God bless Sis. Hampton (Jackson, MI) and Pastor Brown (New York).

- Friends (saved, friends) are truly gifts from God. At some point you realize that you're not limited to just one BFF, but you can have several who each serve a different role in your life.

-Busyness, if handled correctly, can be used for God's glory. But, it takes a greater determination to get what you need for your soul then in seasons that only involve our everyday routines.

so, yeah just a few things that i've thought about over the past month. luv.

unity

2008-04-06T21:24:00.003-05:00

the quality or state of not being multiple : oneness ~Merriam Webster's Dictionary

"Can we forget about all the details and strive for unity?..."

"In its truth we ere shall stand" - The Reformation Glory, Church of God Hymnal

Thank God, for Holy Ghost pastors. Unity has been restored.

lead me...

2008-04-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

"If God is all knowing and loving, I am where He needs me to be right now. If He could get me to where I need to be another way He would have." ~Unknown Author

Exodus 13:17-18
And it came to pass, when Pharoah had let the people go, that God led them not through the way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near; for God said, Lest peradventure the people repent when they see war, and they return to Egypt: But God led the people about through the way of the wilderness of the Red sea: and the children of Isreal went up harnessed out of the land of Egypt.

WHAT????!!!!

2008-04-01T17:50:00.004-05:00

this speaks for itself.

"Cops: 3rd Graders Plotted Attack on Teacher"

yes, i teach 3rd grade. may God bless our society.

too blessed to be stressed....

2008-04-01T14:46:00.000-05:00

another poem...what can i say? april is poetry month, though. :)

help me to really internalize this.

"I'm too blessed to be stressed and too anointed to be disappointed.
I refuse to be discouraged, to be sad or to cry.
I refuse to be down hearted and here's the reason why:
I have a God who is almighty; who is sovereign and supreme.
I have a God who loves me -- and I am on His team.
He is all wise and powerful; Jesus is His name.
Though everything else is changeable, My God remains the same.
I refuse to be beaten or defeated.
My eyes are on my God.
He has promised to be with me, as through this life I trod.
I am looking past my circumstances, to heaven's throne above.
My prayers have reached the heart of God and I am resting in His love.
I give thanks to Him in everything.
My eyes are on His face.
The battle is His; the victory is mine; He will help me win the race.
I repeat!
I'm too blessed to be stressed!"
(Author unknown)

the promise

2008-03-27T11:07:00.003-05:00

we have a monthly bulletin at church. just a little something to keep everybody on track as to what's happening during the month. the publishers have started putting in little short articles for encouragement. this poem was a real blessing to me one night. as i read it i thought of different scriptures to go with each line and thought i'd share the whole bit.

"The Promise"

I know the skies look gray,
the way may look unsure;
but Jesus has each step ordained,
your future is secure.
Sometimes the greatest trials in life
become the sweetest blessings;
if we can only keep our faith,
as we endure the testing.
For in His way and in His time
He works things for our good;
why can we always stand on this?
...Just because He said He would.

---Author Unknown----

Now with the scriptures...

I know the skies look gray,
the way may look unsure;

(Beloved,think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you -- 1 Peter 4:12)

but Jesus has each step ordained,
your future is secure.

(For I know the thoughts that I think toward you...thoughts of peace and not of evil -- Jer. 29:11)

Sometimes the greatest trials in life
become the sweetest blessings;

(For ye have need of patience that, after ye have done the will of God you might receive the promise -- Heb. 10:36)

if we can only keep our faith,

(Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering;(for he is faithful that promised) -- Heb. 10:23)

as we endure the testing.

For in His way and in His time

(He hath made everything beautiful in His time. --Ecc. 3:11)

He works things for our good;

(For we know that all things work together for our good. -- Romans 8:28)

why can we always stand on this?
...Just because He said He would.

(The immutability of his counsel, confirmed it by an oath: that by two immutable things things in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation. --Heb.6:13-19)

Let me know if you come up with any other scriptures.

HBB to me...

2008-03-20T16:54:00.009-05:00

Happy Belated Birthday to Me!

Here are a few pics from my birthday weekend. I celebrated with my class at school. some of the kids brought me presents. I brought pizza and cupcakes as my birthday treat to them. Here are a few pics of the celebration at school.

Later that weekend, I went out with the girls to Chili's (one of my fav restaurants). we had a nice lively discussion about politics and the economy. lively in that we are all pretty much on the same page and love to discuss the "problems of the world." i love that we can talk about these things. we're not talking about who dumped who and what some man did to us. i feel so sophisticated when im with these gals. saved, sanctified, intelligent women, they are! and that was about it. Pretty nice. luv.

a more perfect union....

2008-03-18T17:50:00.003-05:00

a sister just sent me a copy of a moving and powerful speech. a speech that no matter what political party you prefer will move you to think about the unity of American people. it explains those "whys" that we so often struggle to explain to others. all the while wishing that they'd just get it. the "becauses" we begin, but lay to the side out of frustration or simply to keep the peace. it gives reason to the other side we've neglected to consider. it gives reason to the other side that even I have neglected to consider. it requires one to look at America. it requires one to LOOK at America. in all my life i have never read a speech that embodies the struggles of every American. it transcends race, class, and gender. it is beyond race, class, and gender. it doesn't matter who you vote for. it's no ones job to tell you. but to SEE America. to SEE America. that's where true change begins.

"A More Perfect Union" -Barack Obama 2008

controlling our emotions...

2008-03-06T17:42:00.004-06:00

i read this today and it was encouraging. enjoy.

Excerpt from "Feeling Emotional" by Rachel Olsen, Encouragment for Today Daily Devotional

"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me." John 14:1 (NLT)
Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." (NIV)

The problem isn't my emotions, it's my reaction to them. The trouble comes when I give them free reign in my heart and mind. That's when I become unstable. That's when I lose sight of God. That's when I say or do things I regret.

Jesus spoke today's verse to his disciples, knowing what their futures would hold. He knew His death was coming and it would trigger fear, sorrow and doubt in their hearts. Not wanting them to wallow in those emotions, He counseled them ahead of time to keep their focus on God and all that He'd been teaching them.

Jesus, knowing what our day holds, speaks the same words to us. He tells us to not let our emotions fly about today, creating an unstable and troubled heart. Instead, our trustworthy Lord tells us to focus our attention on Him.

I made the decision this morning to pray and place my trust in God, despite how my day was shaping up and despite how volatile my emotions felt. He calmed my anxious heart, and my son seems to be feeling better as well. It feels good to trade in my troubled emotions for a source of strength that will get me through my day. And that's one feeling I think Jesus would love for me to wallow in.

Dear Lord, I want to be ruled by Your Spirit, not by my emotions. Help me to focus on You today and not my troubles. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Start your day by praying for God to give you the mind of Christ and emotions that are submitted to Him.

On days when you get off track, like I did today, resolve to shorten the amount of time between the emotional trigger and the moment when you release your feelings and the situation into God's care.

just because...

2008-02-25T17:12:00.006-06:00

so, today didn't start out so well. i woke up not feeling the best. not to mention i didnt sleep well last night b/c i was thinking too hard before i went to asleep about how some things were going to work out. it didnt help, that the weather forecast was calling for MORE snow for the never-ending winter we're already having. (it's the worst we've had in a while...did i mention that some suburbs are out of salt for the streets?..yeah, that's how bad it is.) but with all that, i attempted to focus, pray, keep my eyes on god and go on with my day.

well, it didnt seem to work like that. i could feel that i was tense on my morning drive in, and when i got to work i was completely unmotivated to start the day. more prayer. i knew what was wrong. i was focused on an issue that really doesn't need to be figured out TODAY or anyday at that. but it's an issue that concerns me from time to time. and today was definitely one of those days. i dont really know when or what i was doing. but i finally stopped and realized that i just needed to let this thing go. let it go as in stop trying to figure it out. we've been over this before. so, more prayer. i started quoting the scriptures in eph. 6 about the weapons of our warfare. i remembered joshua and his battles. and i felt better. because who am i to try to figure out god? and going through the day stressed definitely isn't going to change things. i stopped. i started breathing again. and i ended up having a pretty good day. (probably wouldve been better if i wasnt sick w/ a cold). then to top it off (probably about an hour after i let it all go), the mother of one of my students dropped off a plant for me. no reason. just because. thanks, God. :)

in other news im looking forward to this weekend. it's another girl's night out...this time we're headed to the city to see a play. i'll try and post pics.

joshua

2008-02-23T10:13:00.004-06:00

i've been meditating and studying joshua for the past few weeks. i shared some of these thoughts with the YP2 (our youth choir at church). but this morning it came back to me even stronger. the 24th chapter of joshua begins by summing up the plight of the children of isreal. it talks about how they dwelt in the wilderness for a "long season." (v.7)because of their disobedience. Verses 8-11 sum up the victories that joshua and the children of isreal had in battling to gain the promised land of canaan. if you read the whole book of joshua you see how they rarely (if ever)had a break from their battles. they truly went from strength to strength in fighting. but they were victorious each time. each time god told them exactly how to win a particular battle. i was thinking about how we have pressures of life. things we have before god and as soon as one thing gets solved we may go on to the next. isn't this the same as what joshua had to do to reach and possess his promised land? anyhoo, that was encouraging to me. all of this isnt for nought. its buidling me up in the things of god, teaching me natural lessons i'll need for later on, and helping me to possess the promised land.

a special prayer

2008-02-15T17:42:00.003-06:00

my prayers are with the students, facutly, and family members of Northern Illinois University here in the area. Too close to home, to be sure. What's funny is that just this past Monday we had a staff mtg. where our local police department came in to talk to us about what steps to take during a crisis. there's really nothing you can do. it's so sad what this world has come too. i have to say that i don't really talk to my students about it. i can't promise them that it'll never happen or tell them that we're perfectly safe. i can't plan what i'll do if that were to happen. no. i can plan. i would pray and ask for God's protection over me and my students. it's comforting to know that our state has made a positive step in now mandating a moment of silence each morning when the day starts. yes, i stop and pray. not aloud. but i know that each of my students will atest to the fact that ms._ closes her eyes and bows her head. i've instructed them to stop whatever their doing and honor that moment of silence. while, usually my prayers focus on seeking god's direction, leadership, grace, love, and patience....i must include that he also protect and watch over each us each day as well.

yes we can!

2008-02-12T20:54:00.003-06:00

people...people. ALL people. a sister sent this to me and im almost in tears. we want change. we need to refocus on america. on people....people. America. that's what this video and this campaign is all about. we, America, want change. "there's never been anything FALSE about hope!- I want change."

(NOTE: I definitely love all people and understand obama's platform. it's unfortunate that my previous comments were misconstrued (by anonymous). i have edited it for the sake of peace. i do love all people (you cannot imagine how much), and while i don't usually respond to anonymous posts...i felt it necessary to do so this once.)

11 minutes...

2008-02-12T20:22:00.001-06:00

today after school, i was standing in the hallway chatting w/ some fellow teachers. one of them informed me that while watching the news she'd heard that for the month of january we (the chicagoland area) had had a grand total of 11 minutes of sunshine the entire month. 11 minutes. at first i was shocked. but then i turned and looked at her, and was like, "i believe that." looking back, i remember 1 day where it was sunny for awhile. i remember b/c i was trying to hurry up and get a car wash before it started snowing again. so, yeah. anyway, it's feb. and winter doesnt appear to be letting up anytime soon. writing this reminds me of a post jenny did on snow last year. I'll relink to it, so that you can read it. im just thankful that even though the days have been snowy, cold, and altogether dreary. i've been ok. and that is a blessing. hopefully, feb. will have more minutes of sunshine (although so far we havent). but, what can you do???? ;)

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

in other news, in honor of black history month i've been reading my class stories about great black americans and also showing biographical movies of these american hereos. i must say that i dont teach at a very diverse school. (although, i love my students and my co-workers). but, i was touched by my students. last week we watched a movie about rosa parks...after the movie they all started clapping. 3rd graders!!! they got it. and today after harriet tubman. they started clapping again when we finished. the questions, the comments,...i couldnt get them to stop discussing it. 3rd graders!!!! i was touched. truly.

i just hope that what i teach them, how i carry myself, and the lives of the great african americans that we've learn about will encourage them to embrace all people. not with flowery words of love, but through their actions, their friendships, and their integrity. let the world see that everyday you love all people.

i still believe....

2008-02-05T19:37:00.000-06:00

this has been one of my favorite songs for the past few months....written and performed by Jeremy Camp. He wrote the song after the death of his first wife. She died of ovarian cancer at the age of 21. He also wrote the song "Walk by Faith" (which is awesome, as well.) "Walk by Faith" was written on their honeymoon.

Happy Birthday, Trese!

2008-01-29T17:01:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday, LaTrese (i don't think I've ever called you that!)

For more pictures click here!
Trese's Birthday
More Weekend Getaway Pics

weekend away pics....

2008-01-28T11:02:00.000-06:00

Here are a few pics from our weekend away. We had an awesome time. Honestly, once we got there we never left until it was time to go. We had great dreams of sledding and even cross-country skiing...but then everyone was just like let's just hang. So, that's what we did: we ate, we played RISK (thanks mares!), Bible Trivia, Uno, watched old fellowship meeting videos, read books, cooked, talked, and much more...Enjoy.

Before our game of Risk

Good food...

Group picture!

Me & Whavet

The rest of the pics will be on Facebook...luv.

hmmm....and a lil' girl time!

2008-01-22T17:55:00.000-06:00

isn't it amazing how you can go for weeks and weeks...reading and praying...and God just keeps confirming..reaffirming...and giving you little tidbits of new things that build on the old? at the beginning of this year (new year's eve) God talked to me about "sanctifying myself" (from Joshua 5). he stopped and had me look back on 2007 which was pretty rough for me...and made me think about how i'd dealt with my hardships and the messy, unpredictables of life. then he quietly started talking about how all of those things were just a "training ground" for "wonders he would do tomorrow." now, several people had told me that (including my pastor) all throughout 2007. but, sometimes it takes God for things to really internalize in a person. anyway, i said all that to say that after new year's eve night. i felt like my eyes had been opened. "And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers." (Isa. 30:20). i get it now. i'm still fighting to keep it. i've been studying joshua. after they crossed jordan into the promise land, they constantly had to battle the "ites" to take full control and fully enjoy the land. so, that's where i am now. but i feel stronger (as the song says) about facing things now. so, yeah. that's about it. keep me in your prayers.

on a lighter note, im excited about this weekend...a couple of us gals are headed on a little getaway. we're going to one of the saint's timeshare. we are planning to do absolutely nothing but enjoy each other. i really got excited when i heard that one of our new converts was coming. she keeps to herself alot. i always try to smile and say hi when i pass by. but that was about it. one day she spoke to me and it totally made my whole morning. i was like, "SHE KNOWS MY NAME!!!" so, now i make a point of speaking to her all the time. i know that sounds awful...don't you know everyone in the church? yeah, i do. but, unfortunately running around with all the choirs and playing the piano fulltime i don't have a lot of time to just sit and enjoy everyone (im doing better, though). if it's not the choir, it's something for the youth. not to mention trying to talk to pastor. (and im still working on getting over my shyness.) so, yeah. im working on it. hopefully this weekend we can do that. i'll try and take pics and post them. luv!

MLK - A Day of Remembrance

2008-01-20T19:26:00.000-06:00

A Photo Essay

My sister emailed me this link yesterday. It's a photo essay of Martin Luther King's life and of the Civil Rights Movement by TIME magazine. Words cannot express the depth of gratitude I have for all of those who suffered and/or died so that I could be free in this natural world. I will always give glory to God first for my spiritual freedom. However, my natural freedom is attributed to these courageous people. Looking at this photo essay, I felt tears in my eyes thinking of what others suffered so that I may enjoy being an American. Each day I walk into my classroom, it is my goal to instill in my students the principals of love and working hard in order to honor those who've allowed us to have this opportunity. Take a moment and look at this essay."When we know our History, we know our greatness." luv.

Click Here: A Photo Essay

idealist vs. thankfulist

2008-01-13T19:10:00.000-06:00

i just read this wonderful article about being thankful. basfsogp posted it on her website, so i thought i'd share.

Gratitude - Thank you to our Troops.

2008-01-09T17:29:00.000-06:00

I am by no means a supporter of war. Nor do I debate with others as to why I'm not.

On the other hand, I DO APPRECIATE those who volunteer to serve and protect our country. I am grateful to those who fought for my own freedom as a Black American and as an American. I only wish that there were other means to reach the same goals. This link takes you to a very touching and moving production of how to show thanks to our troops. Enjoy and next time you see someone, say Thanks!

http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/fullmovie.php

Happy New Year! - No Worries

2007-12-31T11:59:00.000-06:00

i have only one New Year's goal this year. (actaully, i have several requests before god for the new year. but, i think this one goal will help me go through the year however/whenever god answers those requests.) my goal is to not worry. just trust. with joy. that's it. i dont think im excited about the new year. it's really just the next day. but im not dreading the new year either. i have no feelings towards it right now. i'll just have to see how things progress as i go through it. 2007 was difficult. i still haven't figured it all out. so, maybe that's why my attitude is such for 2008. whatever, i guess i cant figure it out. no worries, remember? have a happy new year!

Here's something I read from my "Girlfriends in God" devotional by Mary Southerland:

Worry is a control issue.
Worry is wasted energy.
Worry is consuming and unhealthy.
Worry is a joy thief.
Worry is the interest that we pay today on tomorrow's problems.
Worry is practicing atheism.
Worry makes everything seem bigger than it really is!

"Walking in Faith" - Book Plug

2007-12-28T22:51:00.001-06:00

i dont usually read a lot of self-help christian books. but, lately i've been looking for more devotionals to pair with my personal daily bible reading. about a year ago i stumbled onto a daily devotional from crosswalk.com. the devotionals are called "encouragement for today" and "girlfriends in god" anyhoo, "encouragement for today" is hosted by the Proverbs 31 Ministry group. it's written specifically for women. they also sell books. i've bought two so far and have throughly enjoyed them. currently im reading the one below and it has been very good. i also have the devotional which is just a collection of their best devotionals. here's the one i'm currently reading.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T21:10:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-22T11:42:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving. In doing my morning email/website rounds I cam across a lot of good posts on Thanksgiving and particularly on thanking God. I thought I'd direct you to them.

I get these devotionals every morning and one encouraged you that the more you thank God for the little things the more your faith grows. Here's an excerpt:

Learning to be thankful -- even when we cannot see, hear or understand what He is doing or how He is working - is authentic thanksgiving and the direct result of a living, active and personal faith in God. We often say that we need more faith in order to be more thankful. I don't think so! We operate in faith every single day. We flip a switch believing in faith that light will appear. We turn a key believing in faith that a car will start. We even go to a doctor we hardly know who scribbles an impossible to read prescription which we promptly take to a pharmacist we have never seen. This unknown druggist proceeds to fill the prescription, giving us a medicine we cannot pronounce. And we take it -- all in blind faith! Amazing!

I believe that instead of pleading for more faith, we need to exercise the faith we already possess. As we continually step out in faith, not only will that faith grow stronger, but we will begin to trust God more, naturally developing an attitude of thanks. Faith does not believe that God can or will act. Faith believes that God is answering as we pray. And that truth, my friend, will send us to our knees in praise and thanksgiving.

Then I came over and read pretty much the same thoughts on this sister's website. So good. Pray that I learn to give more thanks. Particularly, when it seems things are not going well. Happy Thanksgiving!

3rd Sunday

2007-11-18T21:42:00.000-06:00

today was 3rd sunday which means young people's service. we basically carry the whole day (morning and evening services). it was really good. in sunday school we were talking about heresy. liz brought out a good point that we as saints have to be careful of falling into heresy when we express ourselves. be careful of always having a negative thought or not agreeing with things that are said and done. you're opening yourself to moving farther from the standard and word. i'd never thought of it like that. but i was immediately like, lord help me. im one that doesn't mind expressing myself. but i know that sometimes you have to just say, "it doesnt matter what i think!" so, yeah. then we got to talking about different sects and their take on food. which made me realize that i need to start eating better. i'll probably never become a full-fledged vegetarian. but i would like to start having a more vegetarian lifestyle. ;) i dont know if that makes sense. i made it up while sitting here. but yeah, i need to take better care of myself .

ok, so the rest of the day was great. tiring, but good. the yp2 (young people's choir) sang for both services and God really blessed. the exhortations were both a blessing too.

im so excited about thanksgiving. im heading back home, of course! im taking the train which i've never done. we'll see how that goes. i hope i like it. most people have told me its pretty good. i didnt want to buy a plane ticket this year since i'll be headed back so soon for christmas. plus, it's just expensive for thanksgiving. and i definitely didnt want to drive. so, the train it is. it's about the same amount of hours. ok, im tired. ttyl!

oh, and i finally got a digital camera. so, hopefully you'll see some more pics here soon. :)

God Has Smiled on Me!

2007-11-04T07:46:00.001-06:00

It's just the music...I love this song. He's been good to me!

and a picture...

2007-10-28T21:23:00.001-05:00

so, with all of these "thoughts" i figured a good picture would be nice to lighten the mood. this was at lana's going away gathering. some of us gals and a few of lana's friends.

musings....

2007-10-28T20:59:00.000-05:00

so, after reading and RE-reading and praying..i couldnt shake that article "a new perspective" out of my mind. Last night we had our sister's monthly gathering. it was SOOOO good. it basically ended up with us younger sisters talking candidly and asking questions to the older sisters about how to go through various tests and struggles. sis. hodges, sis. mildred, and sis. ella just really blessed us with their words of wisdom. well, one of the questions was about letting go of things so that god could work. sis. hodges stated that sometimes we tie god's hands b/c we hold on to things and he wants us to let go so that he can work. we can really hold god to his promises when we let go of somethings. stop trying to work it out, figure it out, gettting the wrong attitude towards it. she mentioned the scripture jeremiah 5:25 and how sometimes she'd have a surprise for her children but b/c of their attitude she'd withhold it from them. and that's how god works as well. anyway, it was such a blessing. so, tonight i was once again RE-reading the article "a new perspective" and thinking about letting go of one particularly desire that i've had for a long time. but in a way i feel if i let it go im saying i dont want it anymore. even last night sis. hodges talked about we have to let some things go that seem so dear to us. so much a part of us. in order for god to work.i dunno... i feel like that's what i need to do. let it go, and wait on God. it just seems like such a big thing to let go of, b/c after all i do sooo much desire it. maybe god views it that it's not that she doesn't want it anymore, but she's willing to place it in my hand for me to work it out. instead of her trying to figure it out...struggling with it...wrestling with it. maybe that's the "letting go" he requires???

in other news, today was a very nice, beautiful, fall day. and sunday school was such a blessing. i co-teach the teen girls class with another sister. earlier in the year we were struggling with being a blessing to our girls. every few years i guess you get a new group and have to "learn" them. i have to admit i felt like giving up more than once. even went to pastor about it. but god has totally blessed. and it's not just them. but he's blessed me to truly learn them. our classes the last few sundays have been awesome. has anyone gotten saved? not yet. are we unearthing deep bible mysteries. nope. but i think the girls enjoy coming more so. i feel them listening more so. there's even an excitement in the air of just being together. it's just been a blessing. continue to pray for our class. thanks to the henderson gals for baking and bringing cookies for us this morning! they were soooo good. :)

continue to pray for me. god has really blessed me spiritually these last few weeks. i do feel like a new person. the devil is still the devil and the old me doesnt want to completely die. but i do see a change in my thoughts. things that would usually bother me have not been an issue. im so thankful for that. i feel like i've gotten the victory. now, i must maintain it. drive it in, so that it sticks. as p.jones has stated completely "cut off the head." this blog has really helped...i like to write. and sometimes my "figuring things out" or talking to Him comes through the form of just writing until i find the answer. luv!

YLCF Article - "A New Perspective"

2007-10-23T17:37:00.000-05:00

i just read an awesome devotional from one of my favorite blogs. it's the "Young Ladies Christian Fellowship" blog. Anyway one of the articles was such a blessing. Isn't it amazing how God starts showing us things personally, and then later on uses people, His word, and other testimonies just to confirm or reaffirm what he's said? The particular devotional is called "A New Perspective". (The link is at the bottom.)I truly invite you to take a look at it and the whole site. My thoughts from the article:

God IS going to bless. Even if in HIS time. so, why become agitated with it all. He IS going to bless.

NOTE: You have to scroll up to view the full article.
Young Ladies Christian Fellowship: A New Perspective

But, Rejoice....Part 4

2007-10-07T18:50:00.000-05:00

so, i am still on my "journey" to spiritual victory. this weekend, the devil really attacked. when i woke up this morning it was like i was battling those same feelings of anxiety, fear, and just mind battles from the devil. the biggest thing was that i was upset with myself for seeimingly having returned to those things that i want the victory in so bad. i want to be able to stay happy and free. i want to be able to cast off thoughts from the devil without thinking about it. to rejoice evermore. but it seems like, i keep letting situations get me down and out. and then EVERYTHING else comes back too. anyway, i fought it out. i had an extra long devotion before coming to church. i was just like i WANT to enjoy the services today. i WANT to arrive at church with a heart and mind of praise and joy.

once again, the message today really hit home. we just started our revival with p.lloyd and his message today was on "rending your hearts". taking my ugly, decietful heart that gets me off all the time, humbling myself and taking on the heart of God. i was talking to some of the sisters after church and it was like i took his message to mean, (ONCE AGAIN) letting go of all those things I THOUGHT were important to hang onto. all of my worries, all of my "justified" hurts, all of my anxieties, and replacing them with "how does God want me to feel about this?". and then making myself feel that way. that's the hard part. b/c right now it feels unnatural. to make yourself rejoice. b/c i know/we know exactly how God wants us to handle it. but that route sometimes isn't the easiest or most logical. that route goes against everything we humans think "make sense." but i have to. my victory is in that. i really feel like even if every morning i have to go through an hour devotion to renew my mind; one day it's going to come natural to me to just think that way. that's my victory. one week, i'll think like that all week. one month i'll think like that all month. THAT'S my victory. and it's not saying that that day, week, month, i wont have any problems, but God will have taught me how to handle them His way. how to rejoice in them His way. Cast my cares upon him, and leave them there. Really and truly know God in the way he wants me to: He takes care of my troubles I don't have too. He knows what is best, I can just rest completely in him.

it's amazing. the last few weeks/couple of months have been soul searching. initially it was because i wanted a natural blessing. but God has let me know that for right now my blessing/victory is all spiritual. through it all He's been teaching me step by step how to conquer this thing once and for all. i've tried so many times before, but when the next test came i'd realized i was still holding on to me. still not taking the attitude i needed. so far,God's shown me to 1) take no thought for my life, 2) seek him (through an intense devotion/alone time/fasting), 3) in seeking him, humble myself, and now 4) rend your heart in this area.

please pray for me. my hope is to be able to record what i'm going through so that i can look back and see the steps to victory. i just want this settled once and for all. one day the title will read..But, Rejoice..VICTORY.

But, Rejoice...Part 3

2007-10-02T16:58:00.000-05:00

so, the euphoria of Sunday has worn off. what? you say. you're not holding to what you said earlier. oh, i am. i still believe that God is working on me. and i thank god that he's shown me those areas i need help in. and by the grace of god i mean (and am) measuring up in them. but with all revelations that come from god there are spirits who want to oppose my growing deeper in the things of God. things that want to hold on to my feelings and my hurts. b/c we all agree that our hurts and feelings feel valid. on my way to work, i was grappling with this. i've been reading the book "bible humility" by j.w. byers. and in reading it, it reaffirmed so much of sundays service. i quote, "but, what is to be made low and trampled upon and placed under the mighty hand of God is our individual soul, life, including body and all (and i add, feelings)." but, then to humble oneself and still try to hang onto oneself. it doesn't work. one or the other has to go. and so on my drive in, i grappled with which one. do i let these things linger on, or do i just submit them and do what i need to do for MY soul? i came to the conclusion that i just have to STOP. stop thinking, stop trying to figure it out, or reason it out. stop trying to justify. and just do what i have to do. no one else. do your part. then, i got to work and this devotional was waiting for me (i've only included a portion of it). i think it answered my question. It's taken from Crosswalk.com's "Girlfriends in God" and written by Mary Southerland.

Look for God in circumstances.

God is constantly at work in our lives preparing us to do what He created us to do. A.B. Simpson says: "God is preparing His heroes. And when the opportunity comes, He can fit them into their place in a moment. And the world will wonder where they came from." When we understand that God integrates every circumstance to accomplish His will, it is easy to trust Him. Even when we do not understand, even when we can't explain it, even when it doesn't make sense or seems wrong, we can choose to trust Him. It is easy to trust Him when the seas are calm and the skies are clear! But the strength of our faith is measured in the midst of a storm!

A crisis always reveals what is really inside! Letting go means that we trust God enough to obey Him. Trust is demonstrated by obedience. What I do reveals what I believe about God, regardless of what I say! God will not waste direction on a disobedient heart. The more we obey the more we will trust. The more we trust, the more we will obey. God reveals His plans to an obedient heart. When we trust God enough to let go, we will find that He is Lord of our circumstances.

2. Look for God in people.

Proverbs 27: 17 "As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other". In this verse, "each other" literally means: companion or friend; neighbor or associate. In other words, God uses every relationship to improve us and to accomplish His will for our lives. People come into our lives for eternal reasons. Relationships are mirrors! In them, we see reflections of ourselves! Relationships expose the weaknesses we try so hard to bury! Relationships teach us important lessons like forgiveness, patience, kindness, goodness and self-control. Many times, God builds His qualities in us by allowing certain people to come into our lives. He calls it "Iron sharpening iron".

If we need to learn patience, He brings irritating people into our lives. If we need to learn to love, He will bring the unlovable! God takes those people we call "difficult" and uses them as pruning tools, tools of molding and refining. If we fail to learn from one, He will send another! Even if we do learn from one, He will send another to teach us a different lesson.

Relationships are compasses. Proverbs 15:22 "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." (NIV) God brings all kinds of people into our lives to teach us, encourage us and guide us.

And then later on in the devotional it states,

Strength that comes through pain can be gained no other way. His presence always changes everything.

1 Kings 18:37 "LORD, answer my prayer so these people will know that you, LORD, are God and that you will change their minds." (NCV)

What we call "dis-appointment" is really "His appointment". While God uses our mistakes as a test, He does not waste a single experience. There are no "scraps" of life to be thrown away!

continue to pray for me. i want to continue to rejoice with where i am right now. i think the main part of it is completely trusting God and letting him use everything around me to mold me into what he wants me to be

But, Rejoice....Part 2

2007-09-30T21:04:00.000-05:00

so, nothing with the car yet. but i can rejoice still. b/c i havent really been thinking about it. which for me is such an improvement. normally, i would be worrying and getting discouraged. but im like right now i cant do anything about it and one of the benefits of knowing God is that when we have everyday trials we can just turn it over to him. so, truly that's what im practicing.

service this morning was amazing. i won't go into detail. but, i will say that it's good to be in the COG. and it's good to know that God is faithful that when we think we need a natural blessing what we really need is to learn what he wants us to get out of the test. god has been showing me so much of me these past few weeks. i've been so wrapped up in hurts and disappointments that i couldn't really experience him the way he wanted. (experience in truly being able to give him my burdens, have faith in him, and love life.) it's like i saw what he wanted me to do and the growth he desired, but of my own strength couldn't get there. and today in being able to talk to different ones and let go of the past, see my own faults in dealing with people. see how my own actions may have been the root of the pain i felt other's were causing, i can see God's hand in all of this. so it wasn't really them, it wasnt my situation, it wasnt God denying me of my requests, but he showed how my own actions had caused my own grief. it was amazing. i know chastening isn't pleasant, but it is when you finally "get it". when you finally realize that if i just do this one thing, other things will fall into place. im looking for god to continue to bless me spirtually. my desire is to be a totally different individual in God. i'm rejoicing. not b/c i got anything naturally speaking. but, i feel like spiritually im getting to the place God wants me to be. where he's probably been trying to push and prod me to for the past several years. but i just wasn't getting it. pray for me. im still striving for the goal. and then after all of today at church, after all of the self-examination; i came home, opened my bible and fell on these words from God:

"Finally be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise BLESSING: knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: let him eschew evil, and do good: let him seek peace, and ensue it." ~1 Peter 3:8-11

now, to me that just seals the whole day.

But, Rejoice....

2007-09-24T18:01:00.000-05:00

yesterday p.hodges preached a great message called, "but, rejoice". basically it was saying how we should praise god in the situation. that's how we're going to get out of it. i noticed another sister already commented on her blog on the message...but i just wanted to say what it meant to me. i must say that i have trouble rejoicing for the things that dont seem to be as they should. i mean i can thank him that things aren't worse, or thank him for things that i DO have. but it's a hard to practice thanking him for those things that hurt or seem to say that life's getting worse at every turn. i dunno if i've figured it out yet. but i do want too. so, im praying that he teaches me. now, we all know that if we ask God for more of anything that usually means he's going to take us through something to teach us. well this morning God, seemed to put me to the test. you know the Maintenance light in your car? well, it doesnt really mean anything except to say that it's time for your routine maintenance. things you do to keep your car running so that you dont have to have MAJOR work done later on. well, sometimes those "routine maintenance's" can be quite expensive. and i have a feeling this one is going to be. now, i dont have a problem getting it done, it just seems that every time i get a bonus or every time i get my savings back to the figure i like..something with my car comes along. (and my car is fairly "new" still. it's a 6 year old Honda..so, it's good.) to say the least, i was a bit distraught on my way to work. however, i was determined not to cry or complain or murmur (although the devil did present himself). or start thinking about all of my other problems and how things seemed to be getting worse. and since yesterday's message was still clearly ringing in my head, i was like, "okay." God, you take care of this some how someway. i know i have to go. i know i have to pay. but you take care of the finances part, so that i don't feel like im always making the car dealers richer. just take care of the situation. i can't shelve out another big figure right now. well, that was this morning. and i was able to not think about it for the rest of the day. even as i type this im not as distraught as i was this morning. i dont know what's going to happen. i know i need God to "smile" on me, though. and im hoping that if i do my part (take no thought for today) he'll bless this situation. and not only this one, but the other ones as well. especially that BIG one most of us are still praying and hoping for. pray for me. :)

Happy 1/2 Birthday to ME!

2007-09-15T08:31:00.000-05:00

Yes, i am celebrating my half-birthday this year(it was actually yesterday sept. 14th). it's halfway to my birthday. today some of the gals and i are going out to breakfast. i'm excited. i must admit i didnt feel that "tingly" feeling like you do on your real birthday. oh well!

one more thing on the jubilee....

2007-09-06T19:06:00.000-05:00

i forgot to say that while i was in Arkansas..i got a chance to really get to know some of the girls. girls i've known forever, but this time we just got to talk and really express ourselves. so, to rebecca and christina...it was great, just awesome spending time with yall. and of course the mack and sharon gals are always a pleasure. :) not that other weren't but i just really enjoyed taking it slow this weekend and feeling the love of the saints. ok, that's it. :)

"This is the day of Jubilee!!"

2007-09-04T18:23:00.000-05:00

I just got back from the AR jubilee. it was awesome. there wasnt as many people, but there was still good representation from all of the COGs. i cannot begin to explain how good it was. i mean...every meeting people say that. but it was something about this meeting that was just "umph". you know? the messages were truly on a more mature level. as were the testimonies. i did buy some of the tapes. and im sure your local tape ministry will either have the tapes or can request them. on the last night we all gathered at kevin and sharonda's house (which is quickly becoming "da spot"!...do they know that?) for games. ok, so if you remember playing the question game at lana's house..imagine that with about 25-30 people PLUS the sharon saints (who are hilarious by themselves) PLUS bro. neal and bro. tierre. CRAZY! and then we played not one but two rounds. TWO rounds of the question game. it was a long night. i think we left there about 3am ish. oh well, it was definitely worth it.

in other news, school has started. actually it started last week. im enjoying it. im teaching 3rd this year instead of 2nd. i requested to be moved (not b/c of the kids, though.) i must say it's been a nice change. i luv my partner teachers. they're quick and smart (those of yall who know me, will understand that comment.) so, im satisfied.

we are a blessed people, as pastor jones preached on. truly. :)

Red Sea

2007-08-30T18:06:00.000-05:00

it seems like a lot of my posts are turning into poems/songs. well, here's yet another one. i get daily devotionals emailed to me everyday. this song was in my devotional for today. (if you're interested, you can go to www.crosswalk.com and look for the devotional "Encouragement from Today"..i've yet to NOT be blessed by these devotionals.)

Red Sea

Lyrics and Music by Gwen Smith

A battle is raging, the stage is set

Rivers edge, they're placing bets

Facing the water, I'm fighting doubt

I need Your hand to help me out

Part this Red Sea , deliver me

The tide is high, still on the rise

Secure my feet and guide my steps

I won't retreat from this duress

I'm movin', I'm pushin', I'm constantly pressin'

Approaching these waters with holy aggression

Show me Your power, I need intervention

Come and rescue me

Part this Red Sea

Minute by minute new circumstances

Uncharted water, taking my chances

I'm trying to get up the nerve to move

With You on my side, I know I can't lose

Pillar of fire by night on this desert road

Pillar of cloud by day with my heavy load

Its big, its big, I hear it mocking me

But You are bigger and You can part this sea

Pathways....

2007-08-07T16:37:00.001-05:00

I just ran across this great poem from the YCLF website (it's listed under my "Links" page). Anyhoo, I thought I'd post it. It's very encouragin. Thanks to the author!

I know not the path I must travel,
I see not a way for my feet.
Ahead I only see shadows
Obscured is the pathway I seek.

I do not know all life's answers,
And where I travel seems rocky and steep
Still I am striving to follow,
And find the pathway I seek.

I do not know why there are shadows,
Yet of one thing I can be sure,
Jesus has travel'd there before me
And He knows the path is secure.

I do not know where He will lead me,
Only that with Him I will always be safe.
He has promised never to leave me,
And His promise He'll never forsake.

Each day I learn more to trust Him,
More fully in all that befalls.
His will for me becomes my will,
And I will follow were ever He calls.

In every trial and testing,
That shows me that I am so weak,
He gives me more grace to follow
For in Him is the pathway I seek.

- Chantel Harding

Vacation

2007-07-25T22:43:00.000-05:00

so, recently my family and i went to texas for vacation. Here are a few pictures. Enjoy!

jason and i waiting on our boat cruise.

waiting on our tour of the capital, which was quite nice!

Granny & I

All of us on the riverwalk. (I look a mess!)

overwhelmed, to say the least!

2007-07-24T20:47:00.000-05:00

ok, july is going by way to fast. i went in to work last week, just to check out my new room. oh my, oh my! so much to do so little time. of course i was there all of 5 minutes before my principal got me started on a huge project for the whole school. so, for the past few days i've been going in and working on that for a few hours. while, my class sits in shambles. see the problem is i get there around 10ish and work hard on this project for a few hours. always with the hope that i'll work on my class for a few hours afterwards. well, by 1ish i'm usually exhausted mentally and physically. so i usually leave and nothing is getting accomplished. (sigh). oh well, i'll try again tomorrow.

nothing else going on....i have two potential names to start piano lessons (thank you, paul..who'll never read this). yeah, im on that kick again. but this time it really looks promising. so, pray for me. i've really been disgusted and frustrated w/ my playing lately. this past sunday it was just really hard to get into the music. i've found that when i play that's how i worship him, since i dont get to spend as much time just standing and singing the words. so, i really want to do my best...its so frustrating. i feel like i'm "half-stepping" in everything i do. why cant i be totally awesome at one thing???? oh well. ok, seriously nothing else is going on. until the next update..smooches!!! ;)

july

2007-07-07T20:08:00.000-05:00

wow....what at way to start this month. i've been on the road for the past 2 wks. first a few of us gals (liz, jacks, & jen) took a roadtrip to ohio. we were going for a wedding in springfield, but decided to make a weekend of it. we stopped first in cincinnatti to visit the National Underground Railroad Freedom Museum. it was AWESOME! we didnt even get through it. but, we're planning on going back for a young adult trip in sept. then we headed to springfield, where we went to a beautiful wedding. (congrats, lezlie). the next day we woke up early to head for cleavland. we spent the whole sunday with them. it was so nice to get to know them even better. im realizing more and more that its so hard to really get to know the saints at the meetings. there's just so much going on. my goal is to get out more and visit the saints in between meetings. anyhoo, after all of that we came back to chicago where i left out early, early to fly to texas to meet my family. we went on a little vacation there. we toured austin, dallas, and san antonio. san antonio was by far my favorite. the riverwalk is awesome. hopefully i can go back soon. it's actually not a bad place to go alone. if you want to just sit and enjoy the riverwalk and good food. im back here in AR, now. i'll be here for a few weeks before heading back to the joles. i actually kind of miss it. it's weird, i don't think i've ever really been like, "ok, it's time for me to go back." thats a good thing, though.

i found this poem on one of my favorite websites/blogs. it basically embodies my spiritual goal for this summer.

Give me the grace to care
Without neglecting my needs,
The humility to assist
Without rescuing,
The kindness to be clear
Without being cold,
The mercy to be angry
Without rejecting,
The prudence to disclose
Without disrespecting my privacy,
The humor to admit human failings
Without experiencing shame,
The compassion to give freely
Without giving my self away.
~Author Unknown

check out the website "Young Ladies Christian Fellowship". It has really helped me through some rough times.thanks, elizabeth for sharing it with us gals. i've added it to my links if you want to take a look. ok, im exhausted. consider this your july update. there's really not much going on right now. until later, :)

Happy Birthday, Jackie!

2007-06-12T15:16:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday, Jackie. God bless you on your special day. luv,~me.

School's OUT!

2007-06-08T16:29:00.000-05:00

this is HILARIOUS...sums, up my year perfectly. :)

http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=1725292471009M204069268Y&product_id=

I'mmm BACK!

2007-06-02T21:37:00.000-05:00

hey everyone! im back.(not that anyone reads this enough to notice.) but, here i am and with my testimony of praise that I promised. God has once again proven himself in my life. this was such a difficult year for me. it was like i was in a test of faith. there were so many times i felt like i didnt really know the voice of god or that b/c things weren't going the way i'd planned, maybe i'd misinterpreted his will. but through it all god worked out all the little details and blessed. it seems like it was one thing after another. but in each situation he worked them out. like one by one, actually. so, my faith has been tested, but i got my blessing! God is so good and real. David refers to him as the "Living God". And that he is. so, it's almost time for the summer. i know i'll be busy decorating my new place, getting ready for teaching a different grade in the fall, and just trying to rest more in his will and enjoying the life he's given me. we'll see how well i update. here's a pic of trese and i at the may fellowship (which was AWESOME!!!). if you weren't there you missed it. anyway, may would not be may without me and my bff trese taking our pics together. (yes, i look horrible! we were at the park..what do you expect!)luv.

pics...link

2007-03-30T20:07:00.001-05:00

i said i wasnt going to update. but here are some pics to enjoy while im gone.

http://northwestern.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2066608&l=e5aa3&id=2415867

spring break and a break....

2007-03-23T16:25:00.000-05:00

thanks to everyone for your birthday wishes. it was great. i got to spend time in AR for the weekend..PLUS we had a nice revival (in AR) with P.Hodges. This week (back here in the Joles) we're in revival with P. Jones (FL). It's been great. Last night he preached on "The Power to Produce Prosperity." If you've never heard his testimonies on faith, you should try and get this tape/cd. Check out our church website http://www.jolietchurchofgod.org, perhaps mares will load it up so you can hear it.

OKAY. i'm officially on Spring Break from work. AND I've decided to take a little break from the blog. No, I'm not getting rid of it. I'm just not going to be writing for a while. With all of these revivals, I've decided to take some time out and really do some digging. I have a lot of decisions right now. I'm letting go and letting God. No more about what I want. So, yeah. These things take time. Feel free to say hello every now and then. See you in May if you're coming to the revival. If not..., until, June..when I'm back. By faith, I'm claiming to have a good testimony by then. luv,

2007-03-14T06:51:00.001-05:00

drumroll, please...

2007-03-02T20:46:00.000-06:00

And so what we've all been waiting for has begun....

The Official Countdown

Get your own countdown at ProfileSidekick.com

(ok, so maybe i was just waiting for it. ;) )

Happy Birthday!

2007-02-25T20:33:00.000-06:00

so, i told you there were a lot of birthdays in these months. :)

Happy Birthday, Eliza/Lizm! (sorry...no pic)

And happy belated birthday, Pooh. (although you'll probably never see it.)

jenny's thoughts on SNOW.

2007-02-24T08:44:00.000-06:00

i hope she doesn't mind. but it's really good. Happy reading!

Snow Uggggghhhhh (A must read!!!)

Hi everybody.
I know some of you aren't in Chicago but I hope you enjoy the message anyway
Why is snow a good insulator? Fresh, undisturbed snow is composed of a high percentage of air trapped among the lattice structure of the accumulated snow crystals. Since the air can barely move, heat transfer is greatly reduced. Fresh, uncompacted snow typically is 90-95 percent trapped air.

So, I was looking at the snow coming down and, of course, almost fixed my mouth to complain about driving in that stuff. That’s when God brought something back to my mind. I just asked Him for snow a few days ago. What is wrong with me? Well, I’ll tell you.

We all know how cold it’s been in Chicago . 6○ with wind-chills of 28○ below!!!! And dry as a bone. That harsh dry wind was dangerous. It was killing people!!! I was listening to the news yesterday morning and the newscasters were strongly suggesting that people stay home. They were telling people to only go out if it was a great need to do so. They also said that if you had to go out, make sure all of you skin was covered. That’s really something, isn’t it?

Look at us now! Just a day later and it’s snowing and the temperature is supposed something like 0○ but it feels warmer already AND in a day or two, it’s supposed to be in the 20s. Not ideal right? But it’s way better than 6 and definitely better than feeling like 28 below!!!

Why is it getting warmer? Because the snow is an insulator for the Earth. We needed snow!

“Why is snow a good insulator? Place your hand on the snow, and your hand will get cold. But, if you dig down into the snow, you can build a cave that will enable you to stay comfortable for an extended period. This is because snow is mostly air. (Fresh powder is 93% air.) Air spaces between the crystals work the same way as air spaces between fibers of wool or goose down, preventing air movement and slowing heat loss. Thus, the lighter and fluffier the snow, the better insulator it will be. Old, hard snow has less air (60-70%) and feels colder if you build a burrow in it or even stand on it.”

So when it snows, it makes the Earth feel warmer!

Think with me spiritually. We die spiritually when our lives are barren and cold and dry.

I am in need of great patience. This area of my life is cold and barren (hypothetically, of course). I always snap at people. I don’t have time to talk to my siblings/spouse/co-worker/classmate/boss, etc. I know that if I don’t get the victory in that area, I will die. The newscaster (Pastor, or minister) warn me not to go out and if I have to go out, I need to have all of my vulnerabilities covered (with prayer, reading and fasting). I know that the snow will warm up my experience, so I pray to God for snow.

When the snowy days (situations that cause me to seek God for more patience) come, my first inclination is to complain about having to deal with the undesired situation, but God brings back to my minds the times I prayed for snow. Dealing with the elements in this situation causes me to be strengthened. The fear of and opportunity for death has ebbed away.

1 Peter 1:7 “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.”

Romans 5:3 – 4 “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope:”

One of my favorite songs says

“God has not promised you, sunshine
That’s not the way it’s going to be
But a little rain
Mixed with God’s sunshine
A little pain
Helps me appreciate the good times
Be grateful

God desires to feel
Each longing
Every pain that you feel
He feels them just like
But he can’t afford to let you feel
Only good
Then you won’t appreciate the good times
Be grateful
For it will be alright”

So, be grateful for both the literal snow and the figurative snowy/rainy situations. It delivers us from the danger of death in a cold, barren place.I hope this was as much a blessing to you as it was to me.

Love y’all
Jen

babble

2007-02-24T08:19:00.000-06:00

being from arkansas and all, i never thought i'd say 40 degree weather was "lovely." but, that's what it was this week. i even got "hot" enough to drive with my window down. too bad we didnt get that 70 degree weather some others got. but it was good all the same. oh well, today it's supposed to be freezing rain and snow..and then snow all week. so it seems winter isn't over yet. but maybe can all be like jenny and her snow philosophy. it's pretty good. she'll have to write it for us..or maybei i'll share it in my next post.

nothing else going on...last sat. we had our monthly yp event. this month we had a potluck at the church and had to dress up as bible characters or historical black people (for black history month). of course i was super busy all week, so didn't have time to come up with a person until i got there. but i must say, i pulled it off pretty well. im not going to tell you, though, who/what i was. you'll have to go to liz's website and see her pics (when she gets them up. she also has some good info on black history). see if you can guess. (and when you do, just know..im not some horrible, fanatic person. who/what i am did do some good in the community. so dont get any wrong ideas.) after we ate (good food, good food) we played the cup game, black history trivia, and then talked. we had so much food left that the next day (yp's sunday) we finished off the leftovers. i think next month we're visiting danes (yeah!!). later!

ps. the birthday countdown is about to begin!!! (mine that is.) oh, and before i forget...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to...Leila (2/27?...i think???..tell me and i'll change it..sorry!)and Keila (3/2).

the last sin eater

2007-02-13T18:35:00.000-06:00

so, yesterday i read this book the last sin eater by francine river. im sure most people have read it by now. (i know im late!) anyway, here are a few excerpts that were a blessing to me:

"I didn't realize I was entering a battle - one I could win only by trusting in the Lord. And trust, for me, aint easy to do. It's a learned thing, comin' one step at a time."

"Satan will prey upon your doubts and fears and try to drive you away from the Lord your God, for it is your heart he wants and your mind he will attack. Remember he is the father of lies and a murderer...but the Lord prevail[s] against him. Only the Lord prevails."

"Believe on him who saved you, [girl's name]. 'I want to believe. I do'[she said] 'Then believe'[said the prophet]. 'I try to believe' [she said]. 'Believe,' said the prophet, 'set your mind and heart upon Christ and obey the word of the Lord. Stand firm. God himself is going to fight for you."

"Just tell Jesus you trust Him and ye're waiting on him to tell you what to do."

And my all time favorite (sorry, it's long...)
"It was no accident, no coincidence, that the seasons came round and round year after year. It was the Lord speaking to us all and showing us over and over again the birth, life, death , and resurection of his only begotten Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ our Lord. It was like a best-loved story being told day after day with each sunrise and sunset, year after year with the seasons, down through the ages since time began. I knew after hearing the word of the Lord, I'd never walk anywhere again without seeing Jesus as a babe in the new-green of spring. I'd never see a field in all its glory without thinking how he lived his life for us in the royal robes of every summer wildflower. I'd ever see the greatness of his love in the beautiful sacrifice in the brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows of fall, and winter white would always speak to me of his death. And then spring again, his resurrection, life eternal."

luv it, luv it!!! so, yeah the book was encouraging. that last passage just made me stop and think of how many times i've "seen" God. just step out and observe nature. stop and "see" God.

happy birthday!

2007-02-04T19:08:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my sister! luv!

Black History Month

2007-02-04T16:03:00.000-06:00

so, i dont know the official results for the game, yet (in case i don't come back and post.) but this superbowl has special meaning for me. it's black history month and two black coaches are making history. AWESOME! so, whomever wins..GREAT. Have a great BHM. (although we know we should celebrate history's greatness all the time.) go out and learn about your heritage. whatever it is! much love!

happy birthday, boo!

2007-01-29T16:35:00.000-06:00

happy birthday to "mah, best frien.."! luv ya, Trese.

Bears and Butter Burgers

2007-01-22T17:08:00.000-06:00

hooray for the chicago bears as they go on to the superbowl! i have to admit, i didnt even know what was going on until yesterday (when they played the big game that qualified them for the superbowl.) i used to like football in high school..but it's not so great now. oh well! but i do think its kind of neat on how last year it was the white sox and now it's the bears. is chicago great or what?

in other news..last night after yp service the gals and i went to culver's for dinner. so, so good. they have these butter burgers which are phenomenal. now, why they're called BUTTER burgers is beyond me...but they taste like those burgers you buy at amusement parks. i dunno i always thought those burgers tasted different. then of course they have the best ice cream, sundaes, shakes, and custards. you name it, they have it. so, so good. nothing else going on. i think trese's coming home this week, sometime. her bday is monday so if you know her..send her a shout out.

until the next post....BARACK OBAMA '08! ~luv (ohmigosh..i just realize another great chicago/illinois thing..Obama's from here too!)

Waiting on the World to Change....

2007-01-13T08:26:00.000-06:00

I heard this song recently and it really stuck in my mind. Read through it and I think you get the gist of the author's message. I realize not all may agree, but it's something I feel strongly about in light of recent events in our political world. My prayers go out to all those who've lost their lives (both Americans and Iraqi's). The part of the song that really sticks out is when he's says, "It's not that we don't care. we just know that the fight aint fair." May the love of God enter into the hearts of men to help us realize that war isn't a means of solving anything.

~peace

JOHN MAYER
Waiting On The World To Change

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Happy Birthday, LANA!!!

2007-01-06T19:59:00.000-06:00

and so it begins....the never ending birthdays. danes and lana kick it off..and then im telling you, there's a birthday every weekend until march! ok, happy birthday to my little sis. luv ya!

Happy Birthday, DANES!

2007-01-02T11:23:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday, Lydana! luv ya much! (my blog is starting to be all about you..hmmm.)

gibberish...and DANES!

2006-12-17T20:55:00.000-06:00

4 days left...friday morning im heading out. im soo tired. like my mind can't seem to really focus on anything right now. i just need a vacation. anyhoo..im really hoping that i have a nice time. it's weird i luv it here in chicago/joliet..but sometimes i need to get away and think. whenever i go to arkansas it just seems like this weight is lifted and i can see a little clearer. i think its because i don't really have any worries when im home. it's truly a relaxing environment. because my real life is up here. and when i leave for a bit i can let it all go for a while. so, yeah it's nice to have a "getaway"...or as a pastor mentiond my "island of patmos" (remember how john was able to get away (well banished) to his island, but he got alone w/ God).

oh well. danes is home!!!! if she reads this i want her to know im so proud of her making it through her first semester of college. it's not an easy feat to go away for college. but i think it can help mold you into natural and spiritual maturity. i truly believe that in being here i've gotten to know God for myself. i can't say that when i left high school i was spiritually rooted. sure i was saved, but it was more like a way of life (being brought up COG) instead of being a true experience. i didn't experience God for myself until i had to seek and get to know him for myself. looking back, on those things i've gone through i can truly say they've brought me closer to God and it's been this experience that's kept me saved. so, yeah. i truly hope danes has that same experience. don't get me wrong, i dont think you have to leave to get it...but i would encourage every young person (espeacially in their young adult years) to take time and get to know God for YOU. whether it's finding a niche of your own or delving into your special talent...find God and get an experience. and do it before you go after the next phase of your life, so you can enter that phase knowing that as a single adult you finished your "single life" race and came out with those triumphs and victories he wanted you to win. let him take you out of your comfort level. let him do some molding and refining. Draw nigh to Him, so that he'll draw nigh to you. it'll take you a long way in life. ok....enough! goodnight!

2006-12-13T20:10:00.000-06:00

hey..it's been a while since i did one of these things.

You Are 1: The Reformer

You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong.

High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them.

You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect.

You have the highest integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

What Number Are You?

in other news....exactly 6 days until christmas break. i am ecstatic (sp?)! im just ready for my llllooonggg break. i found out my cousins/uncle/aunt from california are coming to AR for the holidays. how nice! nothing much going on besides that. still wondering about what's going to happen next. 2007 is just around the corner and i've got a lot of life changing decisions to make. well, not a lot...i guess it's just one. but it's like a spiral thing. make the 1st decision and then other's follow. so, if you know the prayer of faith..call out my name.

also, i've noticed that someone named "anonymous" keeps signing my blog. it seems like the person knows me. but all the same, please reveal yourself (at least to me). i won't post it. i just need to know that you're not some weird, creepy person. those of you who kept up with my webpage back in the day know that i shut it down for those reasons. so, yeah...don't spoil it for everyone else. later!

2006-12-11T19:22:00.000-06:00

i read this post today in a thought someone sent me. it was kind of profound to me. so, i thought i'd post it. i think it explains itself.

Look for God to move when he tells you to be still.

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. KJV

school events!!!

2006-12-07T20:27:00.000-06:00

here's a picture of me with one of my students before their christmas concert. i talked about it in the last post...

anyhoo, tonight was yet another school-event. as a fundraiser the teachers get together and have storytime at Barnes & Noble. Each teacher reads a book and the idea is that you get all the students at B&N and then when they're done listening to the story they decide to buy books. of course, a percentage of the book sale goes to the school. they do it every year and its a HUGE success...so, if you know a lot of people and need to raise money..there's an idea. so, i read the book The Night I Followed the Dog.It's one of my favorites. 1) because i LOVE dogs and 2) just because it's cute. so, if you want to read a picture book sometime or have little ones, i suggest you try it out. after reading i got together with my teacher friends and drank tea from the starbucks and wondered around. it was actually a lot of fun and relaxing. i realized that i really need to get out and do things for ME more so. So, im going to try that whole "take charge" thing i mentioned in september and try and sign up for a class (see..i get so busy that i forget about these things im supposed to be working on). the music store down the street from my house is having a class/concert this sat. so, that's the first "leap" for me. pray my strength. im overly shy, so it takes me a while to warm up to people and i totally freak out in new situations. oh, well. that's about it. :)

happy birthday, liz!

2006-11-26T10:44:00.000-06:00

happy birthday to a wonderful, and i mean wonderful gal! i've always secretly wanted to BE liz. she's soooo nice and caring ALL the time. anyway, i hope your day was wonderful. luv!

another one...surprised?

2006-11-20T19:08:00.000-06:00

so instead of writing all about my "feelings"...maybe i should just continue doing these blogthings as a way for people to understand me. i dunno. anyway, i like this one.

You Are 6: The Loyalist

You have strong relationships and are intensely loyal.

People find you easy to love and care for.

You like your world to be stable and secure, no surprises.

You're cautious. You prefer your inner circle to the outside world.

What Number Are You?

2006-11-18T14:01:00.001-06:00

this was kind of fun...although i was hoping for pink. oh, well!

Your Power Color Is Lime Green

At Your Highest:
You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary.
At Your Lowest:
You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in.
In Love:
You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated.
How You're Attractive:
Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room.
Your Eternal Question:
"What else do I need in my life?"

What's" Your Power Color?

'hump' day

2006-11-17T17:36:00.000-06:00

nothing much going on. i don't even know why im posting. it was a nice week. i had a bit of a headache wed. so i took the day off just to relax, fast, and pray. we were doing a church fast so i was like, what better day to take off and have some "me" time. let me tell you....it was great. like i wasnt even as tired as i usually am at the end of the week. :) i motion that everyone should have wednesdays off. it makes it easier to get through the rest of the week. if you get over the "hump" you can make it through. hmmm, perhaps thats why they call it "hump" day. oh well. just a thought.

i've decided that my new nickname is "lj". so alot of people already call me this, but im making it official. although i still like "lupe". so take your pick! i always wanted a nickname growing up, so my life mission is trying to get people to call me by SOME nickname. yeah, im crazy. but..i already knew that. lol.

~lj

Happy Birthday, Jodi!!!

2006-11-12T20:26:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday, Jodi! Here's where i get sentimental...*ahem*...i luv ya! i luv ya, i luv ya! i feel like i've known you all my life. stay encouraged and keep calling me even if it takes me FOREVER to call you back! soo sorry, i am trying to do better! you are definitely an encouragement to me. smooches! lol...

im addicted!

2006-11-07T20:23:00.000-06:00

so, these "blogthings" are addictive. this is my ice cream flavor. i think its pretty accurate. :)

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.

You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

parent/teacher conferences

2006-11-06T22:24:00.000-06:00

so, tonight was parent teacher conferences. I was at school working from 4pm to 9pm! ugh! but the nice thing about it is that i got to sleep in today (since i didnt have to be at work until 4pm). too bad, i had a major headache all day. but hopefully i'll be able to enjoy my day off tomorrow more so.

this year has been quite different in terms of teaching. i work in a working class suburb and most of the students come from stable, 2-parent homes, where the Moms stay at home or only work part time. but i think our demographic is changing. this year i have quite a few students whose parents are just too busy with their personal lives to take an interest in their children. i mean i understand single parent homes and whatnot, but at what point to they realize that.."ok, im struggling, but i don't want my children to struggle in their lives so im going stress to them the importance of education." i dunno. its difficult. i know big city schools and low-income areas have this problem all the time. but it's new for me this year. no homework, cant reach a parent, some of my kids come to school like they just rolled out of bed. its touching. one positive note about conferences, it helps me understand my students more so. now i can look at them with a new light.

continue to pray for me. i want to be a better friend and teacher. i need more patience and people skills. and most importantly more love. that scripture about love covering a multitude of sins is sooo true. like its harder to see faults if you truly have love for someone. the devil wants you to find fault with everyone and you miss the good attributes in them. im finding this out more and more with my students and even with dealing with people. keep me in your prayers, im not there yet. luv.

it's NOVEMBER!!!

2006-11-01T16:12:00.000-06:00

hooray its finally NOVEMBER! was it me or did october go on forever???? it felt like it was 5 WEEKS long!!! oh well..nov. and dec. are quick. and then it'll be 2007. what are you in a rush for, lj? um, i dunno. but im sure there are great things awaiting in '07!

indiana trip!

2006-10-09T14:41:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday we went to see Danes at Indiana University. It was sooo much fun! We all love dana. so, it was well worth the trip. if you want to see pictures of our trip i invite you to check out everyone else's websites/blogs for pictures. b/c you know i dont have a digital camara! so yeah, liz w, keila, lana, and dana (of course) took pictures. check them out. luv!

it's been a while

2006-10-05T18:35:00.000-05:00

nothing much going on. i just called a guy about possilby taking piano lessons. even though i know how to read music and play, i thought it'd be nice to get some pointers on how to add some stuff or develop my ear better. God's been dealing with me about 'taking charge' of my life. not just sitting around waiting for something to happen, but getting out there and doing things. sooo, i made a list of things i felt like He was showing me that i should pursue..and this was one of the things. its kind of weird, but when i did it i was a little nervous..i mean what if it doesnt work out?..but, i'll never know until i try. and now that i've made the call...i have to admit im antsy with anticipation. we'll see how it turns out. he has to call me back. :)

Classroom pics

2006-09-29T18:20:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of my class. (If you're interested...) Enjoy

This is the whiteboard.

This is my desk.

Our class library and "Top Dog" Area (or star student of the week.)

Carpet Area & Calendar

Another view.

Happy Birthday to Jennifer Larry

2006-09-27T16:31:00.000-05:00

It's Jenny's Birthday! I luv ya, gal!

it could be worse....right?

2006-09-25T18:06:00.000-05:00

so, this morning i walked outside to get in the car on the way to work....and lo and behold, someone had kicked in my side rear door with their foot. yeah, there were muddy shoe prints all over and a HUGE dent in the side. i was like, WHAT? i mean, really...what's going on? so yeah, i didnt let it spoil my day. things actually turned out beautifully. when i got to work one of the other teachers had her digital camera so we took pictures..i called my insurance who said that it's going to be FREE for me to fix. went to the body shop this evening, and the guy is like we won't even have to paint, it'll be a quick job. and he fixed me up w/ a FREE rental car. so, the lesson learned??? life happens, and then God makes it all beautiful. im thinking, though, that it had something to do with the fact that i kept the right frame of mind. which, if you know me, you know that usually i do not keep the right frame of mind. (im a lil' emotional ;)) oh well, thank God for that. later..

thank, God.

2006-09-23T13:22:00.000-05:00

so, i got this idea from liz w's yahoo 360 blog. (liz's blog -http://360.yahoo.com/profile-cL9sHVE0cbGNMuGPQnmlprn9oDTFEg--?cq=1 ) it was sooo encouraging, i started thinking about myself. here goes...

thank god for my job.

thank god for his chastisement, for whom the lord loves he chastens

thank god for the piano, it's a gift from god and anything from him is special.

thank god for the life he's given me, it's His plan for me and that's all that matters.

thank god for my test and trials, someone may wish to have my test instead of theirs.

thank god for my alone time, it gives me more time to get to know Him. there may be a time i wish i had this time with just Him.

thank god for my family in arkansas, i always have a place to go to "get away."

thank god for my financial situation, i have the necessary things I need. God has always provided.

thank god for my friends, i may not have a lot but we only need a few good ones.

thank god that i dont know where my life is leading, it just gives God even more control, which is what He requires anyway.

thank god for the waiting period, "for ye have need of patience that after you have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise" hebrews 10:36

wow..that's powerful.

oh..these things have titles..imagine that!

2006-09-19T18:19:00.000-05:00

today was allright. towards the end of the day my throat started giving out. im not used to talking so much or so loudly like constantly. but tomorrow's a half day of school. so that'll give me time to get my voice back. but, (sigh) a half day means meetings. hopefully, they'll be interesting.

encouraging scripture i read today..the devil rushed in today of course, but i've purposed victory. so i just had to sit down and really think victorious thoughts until i was ok. but God gave me this scripture too:

zechariah 3:1-2a "and he showed me joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to resist him. and the Lord spake unto Satan, the Lord rebuke thee, O Satan; even the Lord that hath chosen Jerusalem rebuke thee:"

Thanks, God for rebuking Satan for me.

anyhoo, im a little unsure about how im going to do this. i love writing and i like the blog thing, but is this my journal too? like i already journal so that means im double journaling. you're probably like (not our problem, lupe.) oh well, i'll figure it out. let's see i know people like pictures..so let me find one. of course it probably has nothing to do with this post. but whatever!

2006-09-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

so, im still new at this. here's the picture for the above entry. toodles!